That week-day 4

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by StarryIndigo

by StarryIndigo

Angst-
Re-signs of depression, slight mention of a ED

Your pov stayed 10:50

It was the next day, everyone had left. I remade friends and i had a fun time but something was missing someone was missing. I didn't know who but it made me sad. Half the day I spent in my bed trying to figure out who was missing from my life but I couldn't. It made me so unmotivated, I had the hardest time trying to do the littlest this like brushing my teeth and brushing me short/long hair. Honestly, it's not like I didn't wanna do these things it that I couldn't I had too much on my mind and I couldn't bring myself to do them. I didn't eat,didn't sleep, I just later there in my bed overthinking the smallest things trying to figure out who was missing and honestly just crying. I started to get intrusive thoughts about how this person would think of me even tho I had no idea who they were.
"You not pretty/good looking enough"
"You're fat"
" You so insecure"
" I don't even know this person but I feel like they hate me"
"They do"
"They're glad you don't remember them"
"They're better off without you"
I just sat there and cried, imagine crying over not pretty/good looking enough for a person you don't even know. It's the worst feeling, you feel so once you care about what a person thinks about you that you think you know but youre Bain tells you that you don't know them but your brain tells you, you do know them and it also tells you that they don't like you so you're stuck in a loop but who likes you. It's all just confusing and you don't know what to do or how to do it so you just overthink about someone you could know but don't know if you know and you stuck in a loop. But you can't be sad if people don't know your sad, so just tell you self that your not sad. So that what I did. I forced myself to do things that I didn't want to conducting myself that I'm lazy so I could just get thing done. because you don't know you're sad you aren't sad.right? It's confusing, right? It's confusing me too so you're not alone. Maybe.........I feel...... alone. This whole time I didn't know what feeling I was telling but that was it......alone I felt alone without this person I felt like I need this person I started connecting the dots and figureing out, I don't don't just know this person......I love them......... Without this person I felt alone l, like there's was a hole in my heart but how can you miss someone you've never met unless you have met them? I don't know but I need them now but I don't know them yet?

Hahahahahah this chapter was a roller coaster, sorry that it's short I have like 6 different storys I'm working on and I'm overwhelmed just like this chapter is.its made to me confusing and that the beauty of it yk?

Proofread:kinda
Started:10:50 pm EST/5:50
BST
Finished:11:14 PST/ 6:13 PSTA