Thomas smiled at me when we began to walk with us again like he did every morning.
"Good morning." He told me.
I nodded and so did my brothers.
Bobby was teased into talking about how he liked Jessica, one of the girls in our school.
"She's pretty." He said as he was embarrassed.
Most boys liked Jessica because she was pretty.
I wasn't sure if my brother would have a shot at courting her since she was pretty and in a slightly wealthy family.
My brother was alright looking, but we were not wealthy.
Thomas was asked if he adored one of the girls at school.
He quickly said no.
That made my brother curious.
Everyday they asked. Every. Day.
Wesley tried many times to pull at my hair or to speak to me. I quickly turned away each time.
Most girls thought I was ludicrous for not letting him at least speak to me.
I had much different intentions in life.
I didn't dream and beg god for me to be married and to have children right that very moment.
I wanted to explore. I wasn't able to do much on my own since I had to care for my brothers and sister as well as my unwell mother.
But all I craved in this very world was to go on walks in the trees. To paint and draw the beauty the world held.
I wanted to be happy.
Instead I was tending to my baby brothers and sister, trying to keep my mother off her deathbed and act as if it was the life I had always wanted.
No one seemed to understand that I had such an unbearable weight of my entire family's lives and well-being on my shoulders.
And I was crumbling under the weight.
But I had to try. I had to try for my mother and father who were depending on me to step up and be the woman of the house.
Yet I was just aching to be happy for once in many years.
When I arrived at school one morning, after coming a bit later than my brothers and Thomas since I had to circle back. I had forgotten my book: I noticed something on my desk.
A little bundle of wild flowers.
The girls were giggling about how I had flowers on my desk.
All the boys seemed to be gossiping about something too.
I asked the girls if they knew who put the flowers on my desk. None of them knew but were definitely going to put it on the take notice board.
I whispered to Bobby during the reading hour. "Who is this from?"
Bobby shrugged. "Not sure."
I glanced at Wesley as he was sitting near the back of the room with a friend of his.
He gave me a smile.
I was a bit disgusted.
I didn't want to be treated cautiously like an untrained dog.
And I most definitely would have no interest in courting a boy who would rather hide than approach me.
I was expecting it to be the topic of conversation on the wall home, but it ended up being about how hockey could no longer continue until next year since spring was coming quickly.
