Because It's You <3

Chapter 2

Trigger Warning: contains some body dysmorphia. If you do not wish to read it, then read up to the words "River's always so thoughtful." And then continue reading at "No, thanks! I'm not hungry, thanks though!" Thank you for your time.
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Shit, shit-
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Sage's POV:

Okay, okay, act natural. Please don't let them tell I'm lying, please don't let them tell-

"Yeah sure, that's fine with me." She smiled plainly and turned their head away.

"Okay, cool!" So maybe she noticed, maybe she didn't. Either way, I'm not bringing it up until she brings it up.

~At River's house~

We placed our bags down at the foot of the radiator in the hallway, and slipped our shoes off at the door.

We walked to the kitchen in silence. River heads over to the cupboards and opens them.

"Do you want something to eat? Something to drink?"

River's always so thoughtful, I'm not quite sure how she knows when I'm hungry, but she just seems to know. I kind of like it actually. I don't want to eat though, I'm already fat enough. I freeze. Shit, can River tell how fat I am like this? Shit, no, shit shit shit, I can't start panicking now- But what if she can tell- what if she hates the way I look? She must, right? She must hate it, I hate it. Oh god, I'm taking up too much space, aren't I? I can feel myself taking up too much space, no no, not again. No, no, no, Sage, no. Don't panic, call down, it's okay. It's okay. Breath, breath, okay, okay. My stomach feels bigger already. I feel sick. Food is so greasy, no, no, it's disgusting. I feel sick. It'll just make me fatter. Why? I thought it was getting better. I'm so, so fucking disgusting. I can feel my stomach and god, it feels so disgusting. How could I think I looked okay? River's not fat, not at all: not like me. How could I ever think River actually liked me? No. No, shit. I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna fucking cry. Great, just great! Now River's looking at me all concerned. Fucks sake, River. You're way to perfect. Please stop looking at me like that. I'm fucking gross. I don't deserve to be looked at like that. Like someone worth caring for. I don't need that shit. Fuck! I swear my stomach's just getting bigger. I hate this. I hate me. Why am I like this? I wish I was skinny. If I was skinny, then life would be okay! It wouldn't be- I don't know, so not worth living? I'm fat. Nobody wants a fat friend. Nobody likes it when you're big. It's going to attract unwanted attention to River. River hates attention. So that means, River's going to hate me-
Shit. River, I need to answer them.

"No, thanks! I'm not hungry, thanks though!" No, it's not believable enough, she'll be able to tell. So I grin and say "but I bet I can beat you to your room."

"Oh," She closes the cupboards slowly, carefully, and looks at me with these mischievous eyes that make my stomach flip, "really?"

No one's POV:

And so, the race began. They sped out of the kitchen and to the hallway, where the stair case is. Throwing open doors in an attempt to reach the River's bedroom first. Both trying to match the others speed. Sparing quick, playful glances at one another. Making it to the stairs and holding onto the rails for extra support- should they need it. Breathing heavily and hearts racing from the running and excitement. Faces painted with pink. Breathless laughs escaping their lips ever so often. Reaching for the landing rails, River miscalculated the gap between the stairs and the top floor. She stumbled, of course, which led to Sage being in the lead.
...
Or not.

Sage's POV:

"HAHAHAHAHA- I CAN'T BREATHE, AHHHAHAHAHA-" I exclaim as I pull myself onto the landing, latching onto the front of my shirt and point at River who's laughing too. "HOW ON EARTH DID YOU FALL????"

"STOP- AHHHA, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET UP IF I'M LAUGHING??"

"YOU'RE NOT, THAT'S THE POINT!"

"NO, AHA, STOP, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! REALLY, I CAN'T BREATHE!"

No one's POV:

But she did. River did get up, and she was actually in the lead. Slowly, but surely, River took themselves and their loud giggles into their room. Sage tried her best to stop laughing and carry on running. But she couldn't. The best she could manage was walking, which was painful becuase of how much she was laughing. Her cheeks started to ache and Sage could only wonder if River's did too.

Sage's POV:

By the time I reached their doorway, I had forgotten why I had been sad earlier. I forgot how insecure and afraid I had felt at the thought of you hating me. How could I have ever though you were going to leave? How could I, when you're so easily yourself around me? How could I have ever been sad when I can see River laughing on their bed, hugging their pillow to their chest and squeezing it? And their hair is spread out behind them in such a pretty pattern. And their cheeks are so flushed, and, and, their smile is so wide- I can see their smile lines, and god, she's so pretty. And I can clearly see the gap between their teeth, and she just looks too cute. And their pink lips look so soft and so, so kissable. And the freckles on their cheeks look even more visible in all the pink dusted across their face, she's just so precious, perfect. So, so beautiful. I can't help but smile. River, my love, you're so beautiful. I can hear myself chuckle ever so slightly. You're never like this. You're always so quiet, I love it when you're this carefree. I admire how you laugh so loud. I love how your eyes scrunch up. I love how you stutter in your fit of laughter when you feel giddy. I can't help but adore it all. River, I think I'm falling in love with you, all over again.

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I'm not sure, but I think I may leave it here for now. Sorry, and thank you!