Schizophrenia

One

~David's POV~

The lightning cut through the black of the night sky like someone had just torn the world in half. I knew what was going to come next. About a second later thunder boomed so loud I uswear it shook the whole bridge on which I was leading over the side of. Then I remembered what I came here to do. I glanced down with weary eyes to the water crashing beneath me. The violent waves broke on the side of the bridge making it shake, but I could barely feel it because I know that I soon would be doing the same thing. My lifeless body would flow with the waves and crash against the bridge. I would move with the waves.

"You need this," a raspy voice whispered into my ear, "Nobody cares about you. Your parents disowned you. Your friends hate you. Why would you want to live anyway?"

"Human nature I guess?" I responded shakily to the menacing question.

"Abandon human nature, besides you won't be human soon."

I didn't move to jump off though. I just stood and stared at the waves. The cold air nipped at my skin and the wind whipped my hair in front of my face. I didn't try to move it away though. I didn't care.

The ghosts of my past whispered into my ears. I relived all of my mistakes, all of my deep regrets. I felt tears wash down my dirty and bruised cheeks. All of my life's problems were set in front of me. The ghosts whispered to me as I watched all of the precious moments I wasted on pointless arguments. I saw everyone who I turned away even though they would have stayed and listened. Before me was all of the times I drove people I loved away, all the times I failed to stand up for my friends and even myself, all of the bad choices I've made, every bad grade, every time I failed to simply meet the expectations of people who wanted me to do well, and all of the times I let the ghosts control me. When I knew what I was doing was wrong, I just let them control me. I know that if I took my life today, and became one with the waves, I would also become one of them.

Why would I even give them the satisfaction of knowing they overruled me? I can't let them control me, but I know it's not just as easy as walking away. That's been tried before, this is the 5th time I've found myself on the edge of this bridge, staring down at the never-tiring waves.

"Just do it!" a thousand voices shouted at me.

"No." I rebelled, but it was barely louder than a whisper so I shouted again, "NO!" With that I turned around and ran as fast and hard as I could. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care because I knew I needed to just get away from that bridge. The ghosts followed me though.

I swear I ran for miles that night. I never once looked back, or even slowed down. My feet would not stop so I just let them go.

When I finally collapsed out of pure exhaustion, I passed out instantly. All I remember from that moment was my last grip on consciousness finally coming loose as I heard once again the raspy voice of a ghost of my past, "You can't escape us David. No matter how hard and fast you run, we will always catch you. You can't hide. We will always find you because we are you David. We live in you and feed off of your sorrow. There is no escape. We don't know why you even try."

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Author's Note:

Heyyyyyooooo so maybe you have read this before somewhere... it's probably because you have. I put this in my prologues book and told people in my author's note there that I might make a book out of it and... this is the book. So I hope you enjoy and... yeah.

If you are reading this, I love you, but if you judge me (or homosexuals) you are not my husband or wife.