"It's like you're drowning." He said.
"Like you're drowning?" I asked as we laid in bed. He sat between my legs, back pressed to my front as my arms wrapped loosely around his neck. He played with my fingers in his own, twirling them around.
"Yeah. Like, you know how people say that the worst part of drowning is the moments before you succumb to the water? How once you let it in it's actually peaceful?" He began to pull at my fingers, letting out the trapped air between joints.
"I... Yeah, I think I've heard that."
"It's like that, you know? The moments before you do it are terrifying. They're scary and horrible. But then when you do it, it's actually kind of peaceful. You feel like you can breathe again." He explained to me. I let out a breath through my nose.
"I still don't want you doing it." I told him. I moved my hands down over his palms and down to his wrists. I felt the tenderness of scarred skin beneath my fingertips.
"I know. I don't want to do it either."
"Then why do you?" Silence filled the room as he sat with me. His hands continued to dance with mine.
"Because," he said, "I'm sick of fighting the water."
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Trigger Warning.
FanfictionThis is a one-shot book full of triggering things/subjects. I am not trying to make light of these topics. If you are not comfortable with one or all of these topics, skip it, or don't read this at all. If you ever are triggered know you can reach o...