Keep quiet!

Chapter 17

~Aria~

I layed in bed playing music. I looked around and saw my anime posters and band posters. I turned up the music and blasted it. I heard a yell

"ARIA TURN IT DOWN!" Athena yelled.

"OKAY" I yelled back. I sat on my bed contimplating life. Like I usually do. I looked at the fake glowing stars on my ceiling that only 5 year olds are suppose to have. I heard the door creak open. It was Jason.

"Aria. You okay?" He asked as I turned facing my back to him. 

"Yeah." I felt a tear roll across my face. I tried to be silent.

"Aria." He crawled on to my bed and put his arms around me. He was warm and cuddley. I was cold and hard. He grabbed my blanket and put it around me.

"Please tell me whats wrong." He said holding me even tigher.

"Nothing. Just thinking about where I will be in 5 years." I said

"So where will you be?" He asked.

"I hope to be in a beautiful house with a husband and a kid or two and that my Youtube carrer will hve hit off and its my only job and main source on income.I hope to have made new friend and that I am still friends with Athena and she is married as well. But honestly. I see my self dead." I said as another tear rolled across my face.

"Dead. Why would you be dead?" Jason asked

"I am preparing for the worst. Thinking about death is the only way to prepare for it. I dont want anyone to feel like I died because of their actions or choices. I always prepare for the greatest things in life. But I still think about the bad. Death,suicide,drugs,smoking,and cancer. I still think about those. I want to prepare my self mentally if I die. People have it much worse then me. So I think about the worst then reflect on it with donating to charitys and other varous things." I said.

"Aria. If you die. I would have nothing to live for. No one to guild me. I would have it bad. I would have lost the biggest star of my life. My North Star. I wont let that happen. And if you do die. I will pray every day that you are happy in heaven." Jason said trying to act with compassion.

"Hell" I mumbled.

"Huh?" He said

"Hell." I said louder.

"Aria." He said questonably.

"I'm going to hell. Its something that is definative. I cant change that. Hell is where I will be. No where else. Hell will be my home and I will not be able to escape its grasp." I sat up. "Hell. Will be where I end up." I got up and walked to the closet. I stepped inside and put on black tank top and some bleached high waisted shorts. I slipped on some knee high socks then my black hightops. I walked to the desk and then grabbed my phone and head phones. I grabbed my little arm band that I could slip my phone into so I wouldn't have to hold it. I put on "Fix You" by Cold play and put in my head phones Jason started to get up. I walked out of my bedroom door and jogged down the stairs grabbed a water bottle and opened the front door then slammed it shut. I walked along the side walk. Once again, contimplating life.