2.2 Someone to you | ✔

14 | Confessing

Ella is playing with the ball while Brandon keeps staring at me. He is trying to figure out and why I have been in such a bad mood lately. I know that he is dying to ask me about it but I will shut him out again. I don't want to talk with him about what happened with Kennedy at the party two weeks ago. I don't want to tell him about how much I fucked it up.

I know that my commitment issues would stop me from being happy. I let that side of me take over and ruin something's potential. "Are we going to keep pretending that you didn't fuck it up? I told you to not break her heart." He sits down beside me while Ella is rolling in the garden. I try to keep myself focused on her instead of the judge look that Brandon is probably giving me.

"I am going to keep talking until you tell me what happened. You have been sitting inside for the past two weeks grumpier than ever. Every single guy on the team is scared to say something to you since you bite their noses off. More than you usually do." I start to play with the toy Ella, throwing it from one hand to the other.

"I am not good at this, Brandon." I don't want to look at him because I know that I will cry. I have never really cried in front of the guys or anyone in my life. My father always told me that it is a weakness to cry in front of people. It is not good to cry because it ruins your reputation, I learned that at a very young age. "You just rant to me. I will just listen and give you some advice."

"I can't promise you that it will be the one you want to hear but it is my vision. You don't really need to follow it since I won't make the decision for you. I will only say what I think you could do or help you out." He crosses his legs over each other while I stare at Ella. Ella is the reason that I get out of the house since I have to do my daily walks with her. Without her, I would have locked myself in my room until I stopped being a dumbass for not telling Kennedy that I like her.

"The night of the party, Kennedy told me that she is catching feelings for me. And instead of telling her that I feel the same way or just something, I stayed quiet. I am never speechless when someone tells me something. Come on, I am your friend, I should have comebacks ready at all times." Brandon chuckles because he knows that it is true. Brandon can ask something really random and I always have answers ready for him.

"I just let her run away from me. I am making her think that I did all of those nights with her because I was bored." I groan in my hands because when I say it out loud, I realize how stupid I sound. "I mean sure my first intentions weren't great. I thought that I would get some good fuck out of it. But after a while of talking with her and spending so much time with her. I realized that maybe I am starting to like her too."

"I have never really liked a girl before in my life. All the girls I had in my life were temporary and I couldn't stand sitting with them and doing nothing sexual. But with Kennedy, it took me a lot of courage to kiss her. I enjoyed spending time with her without the kissing or expecting something else at the end." I keep on ranting while Brandon just nods his head at me. Keeping me from ranting to him.