The boy in the forest

9. The ending

I wasn't willing to let him go, nor was he willing to stay. It was a tied down, conflicting decision. However I just knew from the drastic change in his behavior that night there was something else which he wasn't telling me and was definitely not a good thing to him. There was no debating on the matter as I soon saw tears drip down from his chin onto my shirt, which I didn't feel anything from such as the slightest moisture on my chest or even his weight.

 My mind wasn't as boggled anymore but was still terrified that the worst case scenario was slowly but surely becoming true. As the simple aspect of reality came crashing down, all liquids.. water should be wet. "So why was his tears not wet? not cold?" I thought as I doubted that once again my senses were failing me.

 His eyes then suddenly widened as if he'd caught onto something, he bowed down his head to hide his tears as he wiped them off. "Ai.." I called for him which came no louder than a murmur as my consciousness was literally hanging on by a hair. I even feared that I was going to die, however through the whirlpool of mixed emotions and yet I still felt a vague sense of relief. Perhaps it was the fact that Ai was opening up to me? At least that's what I thought?

I could see his entire body shudder from the corner of my eyes, he was covering his mouth to muffle his sobs, from me noticing him crying. "Why was he crying so painfully?" I remember thinking as I watched him cry, I couldn't talk because I didn't really have neither much energy to articulate nor have anything in mind to comfort him. I didn't even know the reason why he was in tears. "Why are you crying?" I asked in a tight voice, struggling to breath as I was still holding his wrist. He still sat on top of me as he stuttered "I.." trying to answer but instead he just broke down. His crying sounded so painful as he cried helplessly. For what though? 

"I wouldn't understand if you don't tell me properly," I muttered as I tried to get up, which to no avail I didn't even have the strength to lift a finger. Then I noticed his gripping onto my shirt, the tug across the garment became stronger along with the creases centered to his clutch. His cheeks were glistened by those tears, dripping onto me. "But I can't.. I can't.." He kept on saying as he shook his head repeatedly, he couldn't even form a sentence properly without being disrupted by his sobs and the vehement shudders that shook his frail looking frame.

 "It's alright.. okay?" I knew that I had to do something to calm him down, as I unconsciously believed that his emotions worsening was the reason the weather was spiraling out of control as continuous roars of thunder spread through the sky. A part of me had already accepted that he wasn't what I wanted, just a normal 'human' friend. Despite that I still wanted to help him. My feelings had become too attached to him without knowing, more like I'd been trying to ignore such an intimacy. 

"You don't understand!" He suddenly yelled and finally got off of me. "Ai.." I called to get his attention as he pouted all by himself, sitting aside. "I'm sorry..." He apologized as he wiped off his tears, though there really wasn't anything he should be apologizing for. Once again he got onto his feet and spoke the disheartening words "I have to go..". His voice held no weight to the tone nor the words, as if he was out of options but to say those words.

Me on the other hand, had so many thoughts bombarding my obscure mind. Yet I still continued the stubborn streak and demanded that he stayed, at least until I could recover enough to stand up as my legs were still numb. "Why?" he murmured knowing that my answer was something he couldn't do. I once again tried to reach my goal for going there that day, "Tell me the truth, Ai.. then maybe I can help you," I asked as gently as I could with my parched throat drier than the Sahara. "I'm sorry,.." his subtle shook and down casted gaze confirmed so. "I see," I mumbled back, just to reassure him that I wasn't mad.

Seeing how bent he was on not telling me about himself, I slowly realized that it didn't matter to me anymore. Whether he was a poltergeist or the pathetic result of my mismatched gaps of synapses, this persona called Ai was more endearing to me that any other I've encountered. So much that even through adulthood I still miss him to the verge of tears.