Selfless Intimacy

Chapter 1

No...

How could you...?!

Don't do this to me.. Please...

Leave me alone!...

I-.... *crack*

*Gunshot*

Tabi's POV

I woke up with a shock from my chest. I panted softly as I sighed and look at the clock which shows 5:23 am. 'I don't know how much longer I can take it... I should get myself ready for the day..' I mumbled softly to myself as I slowly got off the bed and stood up. I clean my bed tidily as I walked to the bathroom and start getting prepare. I'm glad that I have a place to stay in.. even if I have to stay in as roommates. At least, Aldryx is here. He's the only person I trust with while the rest, I still don't trust them but I don't hate them either. I walked down the stairs, the living room was so quiet even early in the morning. 'Garcello still hasn't wake up yet.. others would still be asleep..' I thought as I looked at the clock again. 5:52 am. Usually, I would wake up around 7 am but because of my damn nightmares, I couldn't go back to sleep and tend to wake up earlier than the others. Sometimes, it also gave me insomnia that one time, I end up not sleeping the whole day. The others probably wake up at least before 7:30 am but during the weekend, some like waking up around 9 am. I started doing few chores in the house and also decide to make myself some coffee to ease my sleepiness away. Ugh, my sleeping schedule is pretty fucked up but I'm used to it. I swept the floor for few minutes and started making coffee while waiting for the kettle to boil. I sat down on the chair and stared at the coffee as my mind start wondering, 'When will these nightmares ever end..'

"You're up that early." I looked up, hearing that voice. Oh, Garcello. The guy who always smokes cigarettes, is this how he coped? He's always the first to wake up earlier than us. "Yeah... I just.. couldn't go back to sleep, that's all," I lied. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the nightmares even if I want to and I would appreciate it if he listens. I usually talked to Aldryx about these things but he's still asleep, best not to disturb his beauty sleep. Garcello chuckled, sitting down in front of me, "It's already 6:15 anyway. Usually, you would wake up around 7 am with others. I'm assuming something must be troubling you that makes it hard for you to fall asleep," he said. I stared back down at my coffee again, he was right though. I sighed softly, "Yeah... I had a nightmare again... it's fine if you don't want to hear about it, I usually talked to Aldryx about this but I don't want him to bite me again for disturbing his beauty sleep," I rolled my eyes, remembering that one time he bit my arm after I tried to wake him up. He gave a soft laugh, "Yeah, I remember. Go ahead, I'm listening," he assured. I inhaled and exhaled my breath, "Ever since my break up with Girlfriend, I have been constantly getting nightmares about what would her damn father going to do to me and to people I care for.. but at the same time, I tried not to care or overthink about it but a vision of Girlfriend and Daddy Dearest manipulate anyone who was closed to me would end up betraying me and backstab me behind my back and I woke up with a loud of gunshot through my heart," I describe to him about my nightmare and it hurts me even more just to think and talk about it. The gunshot and the skull crack were different, they never show up in my dreams before. Garcello was wordless, looking at me with concern, "Woah.. that must be.. tough for you... how do you feel now?" he questioned. "I feel.. exhausted.. tired.. full with anger and grief. The only way I would be satisfied is once I get my revenge on her and her asshole dad!," I growled in anger as I smashed the cup on the ground. "Woah! Calm down, dude. You're gonna make a big mess here," he stopped me as I groaned, not regretting that I break the cup.

"What's going on here? I heard a loud smash in the kitchen," we looked over to see Whitty walking in. He saw the crack pieces on the floor and squinted at me, "Seriously? This is the fourth cup you break this week, Tabi." "I can't control my anger, okay?!," I yelled at him. Garcello sighed, "Just get the floor clean up before someone accidentally step the glass. I'll go wake up the others." Whitty shrugged and walked back to the living room while I looked for safety gloves to pick up the pieces. After cleaning up the mess I made, it was already 7:09 am and finally Ruv and Aldryx were now awake. I don't have any problems with Ruv, in fact, we pretty much get along just fine. I sat down on the couch next to Whitty, watching TV together.