Jacob a soft hearted bad boy stuck between his two personalities when he comes across Yasmin , a girl of his age ; both passionate about their careers encounter a bitter moment before creating beautiful ones. Yasmin becomes Jacob's muse in ways she...
Jacob's Journal Entry #1078 28th February,2021 I fucked up, Jacob you fucked up, how could I? the most treasured person, how could I do this to her! our relationship.... Our love....us.... I lost it all just because I was a coward! A fucking coward! I've always been like that, she was right, I .......... I want to tear myself apart and just destroy myself, and be non-existent, this is betrayal! What was I even thinking? Better Jacob Williams! You deserve it! You've deserved the worst ever since you've taken your first breath, everyone leaves me because I don't deserve them! I ruin everything! I feel like laughing at myself, I've cried enough that my eyes have dried, better, I wish to pull them out of my sockets, and ruin each part of my body that had to do something with her, so she might understand how sorry and guilty I feel but she's right, what I did, is betrayal it has shaken our relationship, a relationship that I hold so close, a person whom I protected from the world just like you'd protect a diamond, in a safe with security, and in the end im the one who causes the misery, the turmoil, fuck!..... Last week we were celebrating our sixth anniversary, which felt like an eternity, and today im writing this, funny isn't it but that's what you get when you play with someone's feelings, with someone's dream, with someone's heart... she taught me so much, I could be me because of her, my number one priority and look who finished it all, me, Jacob Williams you are the one! you robbed your own happiness thyself. Now you deserve this hell, you deserve to be alone and ha ha ha YOU are, she's gone and probably will never come back, so yeh rot in hell, Jacob, trust and honesty are the pillars of any relationship and I've beautifully broken them, crumbled them into pieces and here I am, devastated and miserable, I can't find a word to explain my misery, I hope I don't find one so I can atleast feel the least of what she would have felt when she knew the truth, and like the cherry on top today I don't feel the slightest better after journaling, the one which caused the catastrophe, I don't think I deserve it anyways. I shut my journal close throwing it on the wall in front of me and I rest my head on my chair, I haven't brushed, I haven't eaten anything since morning and now it's past seven, it's all dark outside just like my miserable life right now, I've lost my hope, I don't deserve to hope and pray that she comes back I mean I should stop being selfish.
I swivel around with my office chair, my eyes stuck on the roof, tears have stopped because im empty on the inside now, hollow, there's nothing to come out, I scoff at myself and keep swiveling until I hear a loud rumbling thunder and my movements come to halt,
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thunder sounds were, I mean are her favorites, I wonder will she be feeling good about them right now? Or will she be immersed in the agony I have caused her; the latter must be the reality.
I get up from my chair and walk outside to the balcony, rain pouring slightly, how I wish it could wash away my mistakes and wreckage I've caused in our lives. The rain starts falling heavily
