confusion

14.

the ride to the restaurant was chaotic, the radio played throwback songs in the maximun volume and the two boys sang each word to the top of their lungs, laughing and smiling.

they were sure that everyone that saw them assumed they were crazy, but for the first time in a long while, they weren't worried about what the others were thinking.

"hello, table for two, the reservation is under Thomas Green"

the brunette talked to the pretty receptionist, his slight grown beard made him look so mature and hot, Newt could only imagine that beard against his neck while the other left kisses on his sensitive skin

not thinking about that was quite hard when the only thing you wanted to do qas call that person yours, but the blonde had to control himself, he could not ruin their friendship because of a stupid crush.

but when Thomas's big veiny hands wrapped themselves around Newt's small waist, drawing random love patters, it was kind of hard to just ignore all feelings.

soon they were sitting and ordering the food, making a small talk with each other while they waited

"so... fanfics hm?"

Newt hummed, looking at thomas in a teasing way, he found it funny that someone like the handsome brunette would read fanfics

"yeah fanfics, some people are crazy talented writers, Leo Dicaprio did me so many times I even lost count"

they both laughed loudly, attracting some ugly looks

"Leonardo Dicaprio? are you serious tommy?"

the blonde asked between laughs and the brunette nodded, recomposing himself

"dead serious, I was obsessed."

he lowered his head in shame, blushing softly

"awe little tommy is embarrassed?"

newt leaned in, squeezing the boy's cheeks

"nope, just not used to casually spill one of my biggest secrets"

they both laughed, the food arrived soon after and they started eating, talking about nothing and everything at the same time

at some point, paparazzis were taking photos and everything, but they couldn't care less.

Thomas was having fun, he forgot about his problems, the fact that when this ended he would be homeless and all of the shitty things that ever happened to him

Newt was falling in love with the brunette all over again, seeing his eyes shine with love as he talked about something he was passionate about or how his nose scrunched up when he laughed, how he smiled everytime and how his moles conected beautifully, maping his face out

Newt realized how Thomas would bite his lips anxiously and uncontiously every few minutes, he also realized how his voice would go an octave higher when he talked about things he loved or how the yellow light made him look like the sun in flesh and bones.

the blonde paid attention to how the pale boy would just bring happiness everwhere he went and how easy he made smiling seem, how natural he looked doing anything.

every little detail amazed Newt.

and at some point, the random words falling from Thomas's lips were just meaningless words falling like a waterfall from those perfect red lipsz so kissable and perfect the blonde had to use all of his will power to not simply kiss him until they ran out of breath.

nothing around him made sense anymore, just Tommy.

his Tommy.

and just now he realized that keeping those feelings to himself would be impossible, standing next to Thomas and not calling him his was like having billions of knives being thrown directly in his heart.

"Thomas."

Newt cut the cute rambling that Thomas was mindlessly doing off, grabing all of the brunette's attention on him

"what is it blondie?"

oh if thomas knew how much newt loved it when he called him blondie

"I need to tell you something."

nerves spilled from every and each pore of the blonde's body, he decided to tell him, whatever that meant

"spit it out bubba"

the pale boy's hand went under the table, carressing Newt's thigh under the table.

he couldn't take it anymore

"I love you Tommy, and not in a friendly way but I truly caught feelings for you, I was so scared to tell you but I can't keep hiding this from you, I love you way too much, you are my tommy"

a tear spilled from the blonde's eye as he spoke, making the brunette stand there in shock

"oh..-"

was all Thomas could say.

he felt frozen, it was like his mouth and his body wouldn't listen to his brain, so he just stood there, staring at the crying boy infront of him

"oh..? that's all you have to say?"

the crying intensified, silent sobs left Newt's trembling lips as he looked at a frozen Thomas expectantly

but the brunette stayed still, in too much shock to do anything

he loved him?

"okay... I-I  think we should just head home n-now"

the blonde got up, tears ran down his face as he ran out of the restaurant

"newt..."

Thomas's eyes followed the broken boy, and deep inside he felt a part of him breaking too.