confusion

15.

Now, the worst part about that fight is that they still had to act somewhat normal around other people.

when they were alone, Thomas would try to talk to Newt all the time, but the blonde would always runaway or go to sleep early.

sleep, that is something none of them had that night.

Thomas went back to sleeping on the floor, the guilt of making his blondie suffer like that was eating him alive.

even tho he didn't know yet, that extremely present want to wrap his arms around Newt and hold him until he stops crying and then kissing every inch of his perfect face was not just a friend-worry.

somewhere in the process, he also started liking the boy back, loving if I may add.

that night, lying on the cold hard floor, Thomas came to the realization he loved Newt more than he ever thought he could love somebody, and he would do whatever it took for them to fix whatever is broken.

Newt on the other hand woke up the next day really sad.

Tommy, his tommy would never feel the same... guess it was never his Tommy, and never will be his.

his face was red and fluffy from all the silent crying, his head was pounding and he didn't really mind the mess his hair was or how wet his pillow was, all he wanted to do was cry again.

not having your fake boyfriend to love you back is more painful than he thought it would be, principally when you fall so hard like Newt did.

just to think about the day full of fake love, fake happiness and fake kisses Newt was on the verge ofhaving a panic attack.

he didn't know if he could do all of that, even if it was for the sake of the channel he loved so much.

seeing the brunette not laying next to him hurt, he missed the way his big body warmed him up or the way Thomas would sleep with his lips slightly parted, he missed wrapping his arms ariund the brunette's neck and feeling his soft hair on his hands, he missed the taste of those addicting lips or the way the boy's kisses made him feel.

he missed it all and now he realized Thomas would never be his.

he got up from his bed, thoughts killing him.

he rushed to the bathroom, the fear of facing Thomas was bigger than the fear of tripping.

the brunette watched Newt run, sadness corrupting him.

he did that, and he was not proud of it.

he never truly was proud of anything he made but this tume he was sure he would never be proud of making his love cry.

he decided to get up too, get changed would be a great idea to try and sent the thoughts away

he changed into random hoodie and grey sweatpants, a simple outfit but it still made newt freeze as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom, now changed into a pair of black jeans and Thomas's green hoodie.

the hoodie was adorably big on Newt's delicate frame and Thomas had a hard time not aweing and rushing to capture the blonde's lips on his.

after a few seconds of awkward silence that felt like hours, Newt was the first to break the atmosphere

"are you ready...? we have a live to do"

he looked down, too tired to keep looking up

"hmm yeah... and Newt?"

Thomas's pupils were dilated, his eye was mostly black now as he looked at newt with such passion the blonde got dizzy

he got closer, less than an inch apart, the heat of eachother's body welcomed the other, their breaths were mixing and Newt was nearly fainting from how close he was to kissing the love of his life.

Thomas didn't know if he was going to get slapped for breaking his heart and then kissing him but he couldn't take the urge to kiss the blonde anymore

he decided on the reasonable thing.

sighing, he leaned down and kissed Newt's forehead, murmuring against his head

"you look beautiful in my clothes blondie"

Newt's breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut as he felt his skin tingling where Thomas toutched.

he couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed at the fact that the kis wasn't on his lips but anything the brunette gave him was good enough at this point.

he just craved for that.

and having the boy calling him beautiful almost sent Newt into a heart attack

"let's go blondie"

Thomas grabbed the blonde's hands, warm big ones aroun his small cold hands

oh if the brunette only knew the effect he had on Newt...