Right. Left. Right. Left. Was what I kept saying in my head. As my coach was yelling, "Jab, uppercut, left hook." The ring was my safe place, my place to let out all the built up anger. Sometimes I find myself crying thinking of the things that brought me here. But in this ring, none of that matters, all that matters is that I stay on my feet. That I keep going, that I keep punching. The hours would past without notice, this was my only definition of fun since getting clean.
11pm hits and I'm still punching the same bag from before,wishing it was somebody else. "Ash!" "ASHER" my coach calls out, finally getting my attention, I turn to him. "Come on champ I gotta close up the gym," He says.
"Shit my bad" I say as I go under the ropes and jump down, I grab my duffel and get ready for him to drive me home. On the way home, I let my mind wander. "Would I still be angry if I didn't have a bad childhood? Am I always going to be angry?"
I see the us approach the house, I look over at my coach, " Brandon please let me stay over tonight, I can leave before morning and everything." Brandon looks at me and said "sorry kid, my wife would kill me." I sigh and thank him for the ride, I get into my house and throw my duffel bag on the floor and grab my water and go upstairs.
I look at my phone, 7 text messages, 15 Snapchat notifications, and 2 missed FaceTime calls. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but I hate leading people on. Every time before me and someone started talking, I warned them that I wasn't looking for a relationship, that I was just bored. None of them listened. When I opened Snapchat, the girl named shaylie had spammed me since I started training. This was the conversation we had:
Shay✨: "Hey babe I missed you."
Me: cool
Shay✨: how was training?
Me: fine
Shay: ✨well I stayed up for you
Me: u didn't have to
Shay✨: okay well I gotta get up early tomorrow
Me: k. Talk whenever
I never say talk later, cause I didn't want them to believe that I would talk to them everyday, honestly, I barely want to talk to them. The only time I did want to was to play a game or to distract me from life. Any other time, they were just a notification.
The next morning I hop in the shower,I start out standing but within ten minutes I sit down. In the dark. It was more calming this way.
The day was May, 21, its my freshman year and today was a B day, meaning that my first class was biology. Thank god because it was my easiest class, and my favorite. I grab all the appropriate materials for the day and sprint to the bus because I know I'm late.
1.2.3.4.1.2.3.4. That'a what I repeat and my head when thoughts take over, I don't stop, I sometimes catch myself saying it out loud. 1.2.3.4.1.2.3.4. This is what I say while waiting for the bus, sometimes that's all life is, waiting.
The bus and the boxing gym was the only place I didn't have to worry about anything. I sectioned off the other part of the seat and put my feet up and went to sleep.
When I awake I'm at the front of the school, I grab my bag and rush off the bus, I'm too impatient for anything. Biology was easy as always, Spanish was a bore.
It's finally lunch, although the most I ever eat is a granola bar and drink some water. When I leave my classroom I see the person who claims me as their best friend, kaylen. There wasn't anything wrong with her, she was nice I guess. She just wasn't really my friend, she just keep me company, another distraction. We wave to each other and I plaster a fake smile on my face.
As we stared to walk toward the cafeteria, a random girl came up and hugged her. This girl is very pretty I must admit. She has chocolate skin and a curvy body. But that wasn't what hooked me onto her, when they hugged, she smiled and let out a slight chuckle. When she smiled, you could see the obvious gap between her two front teeth, but in a adorable way. Her laugh was loud but not obnoxious, and when she spoke. Oh god, that voice was smooth but high at the same time, sweet but fierce sounding. Once I zoned out from loosing my focus on her, they were playfully flirting with each other, you know the usually calling each other babe and things. I assumed she was straight. And moved on with my day.
Well that was a lie, I pretended that I did, that I wanted to never see her again, the truth is that smile never left my mind.
YOU ARE READING
Thank you. For Everything.
RomanceAsh scared to love again, what will Asher, a non binary student at a stressful school, do when they start to fall in love with the pretty cheerleader. With they fall or will they fly,?
