Thank you. For Everything.

Fuck the Coffee

As the summer approaches, my happiness diminishes, less training, less distractions, it means I can't pretend. I just mostly lay in bed, wishing that I was someone else. Someone perfect, someone happy, pretty, smart, everything I wasn't.

A warm sensation ran down my cheek, am I crying? In immediate disgust, I sit up and wipe the tears off my face. I don't have a reason to be sad, I should be fine.

I didn't qualify for states, I won most of my matches, but not by enough. I dont know how I feel about it. It honestly feels like I'm sitting at the bottom of the ocean. Stuck there, just accepting my fate waiting to be eaten.

I need to be productive, or something, I can't just sit here waiting for the anxiety shark to eat me. I get up and throw some running shoes on, throw my hair until a ponytail.

Lil Wayne has got to be my favorite artist to work out to. Sometimes I have no idea what the fuck he's saying, but as long as the bass good I don't really care.

I arrived at the Walmart, I had 60 dollars on me from babysitting some brats the weekend before. I didn't exactly know what I was doing in a Walmart or what I was even there for. I grabbed a few of my favorite snacks, a new journal for myself, and some bathbombs. I see one of my favorite coffees in one of the coolers in the front,next to it was a similar figure.

It was her, standing next to the coffee, she turned for a split second, I whirled myself around so she didn't see me. Fuck, I hope she didn't see me. Wait a minute- why am I hiding from this girl, I can have her if I wanted to. Shit no I couldn't, she wouldn't go for me.

Fuck the coffee , fuck the items, I'm getting it later.

The whole run home, I couldn't stop thing of the what if's. Dammit I'm such a pussy.