My sad love story

Spinning

I looked at myself quickly in the mirror before averting my gaze. It must be bad if you cant even look at yourself in the mirror. I looked terrible I felt terrible...I am terrible.

My eyeliner was smeared, and my mascara was running down my face my hair was very knotted and I still had my clothes on from last night.

I looked at my phone and there were 10 missed calls from Ian. Damn I loved that boy. Even if he kisses that hoe I know for a fact I will always love him.
It was Sunday morning so I had to go to church.
I quickly jumped in the shower. I washed my hair,my body, then got out. Im not one of those people who take long showers. I just jump in and jump out as simple as that. Well it has to be that simple if I want to take morning showers.
Then my phone beeped...Who is texting me at this unholy hour. Normal people arnt awake at 5am on a sunday.

Ian:I know you wake up early for church every Sunday and I wanted to talk.

Me:Seriously what is there to talk about? Hmm tell me Mr. Kisser of Hoes

Ian:Im sorry about that I only want to be with you I only love you ok

Me:Im sorry but I refuse to take you back...Besides I already have a boyfriend..

Ian:What the hell who is it! I will hurt him.

Me:Just leave me alone you obviously chose her im not going to have this ridiculous double standard where you can kiss a girl but I cant kiss a boy

Ian:its just that I love you so much

Me:Yeah well newsflash I dont love you so please just leave me alone...

It hurt sending that text it truly did , but im strong I can handle a world without him...I just dont want to. I shouldnt have to be without the person I love because another girl wants him.

I quickly went downstairs to make myself some coffee and bagels. I honestly dont see how people like black coffee. Its just flat out gross. I take mine with 10sugars 5creamers.
I sat in the living room for an hour staring at the ceiling. My family didnt get up till 6am.

We areived at church about three minutes before the sermon started. As I was walking in I couldnt shake the overwhelming feeling I was being watched...Yeah I know I was being watched by Jesus but I was a different feeling.
All of a sudden I felt a hand on my mouth and I was being dragged somewhere.
I didnt have to think too long to know who it was of course it was Ian he knew I went to church every Sunday I mean I had taken him with me once.

He dragged me to the bathroom. He closed the door and locked in and finally he took his hand off my mouth. I walked a few steps away from his and he said "Dont scream". I then turned to face him and rolled my eyes and said "Im not dumb I knew it was you"
I felt cold and heartless. My pills hadnt worn off yet so im sure my face showed no sign of any true emotion.

He then walked over to me and said "Did. Did you take antidepressents". I simply looked down and nodded. "Did I do this to you" he said with hurt in his voice. I was silent for a moment but then said "You kissed her. You kissed her.You kissed her.You never loved me you kissed her. You chose her. Go with her just leave me alone. I seriously dont need this. It hurt me that you kissed her it really did. Its my fault it truly is I pushed you towards her. So leave me alone I dont care".

I was babbling but I just couldnt help it I had so much to say and didnt know the right words to say it. "I love you" he said. I walked to him and held his hand and hugged him. He didnt waste a single moment before hugging me back. I cried on his sholder and he held me tighter.

Then he whispered "Lets go to my house". I simply nodded. I then left the bathroom and told them I was going to Ians house. My parents nodded. I knew they would say yes afterall I am a virgin.

We got to his house about ten monites after we left. I walked straight to his room and layed down on the bed. He layed down next to me. I kissed him and hugged him and he just held me in his arms.

As I was laying there I knew it would end sooner or later I didnt know when. But all good things must come to an end reality will kick in sooner or later but I need to enjoy us while it lasts.