Rise of the transvestite Goblin

The transvestite goblin

After my guest was well and truly fed he sat back down and burped in my face. Charming. 

" So I'm going to just cut to the chase here. What are you? Why are you trying to turn my husband into a transvestite? And why did you target Joey?" 

" I am a transvestite goblin. It's my job. And why not?" 

"Could you answer that in a little more detail please" He gave me a filthy look and screwed up his (almost non-existent) nose. 

"Huff, fine. You know you have all the main mythical creatures like Santa, the tooth fairy and the Blair witch?" I didn't know this but I nodded enthusiastically anyway "well I'm one of the lesser known but equally if not more important mythical creatures" 

"Well that's all well and good but I honestly don't see how the transvestite goblin is useful" ok I admit that that was not a smart thing to say as it was the equivalent of scrutinising his entire existence. He thumped his surprisingly large hands on the table and pointed at me, in the same graveley voice he growled.

" now you listen up, I may not be well known but who do you think started to get women to wear trousers?" a smug little grin crossed his face " do you think women just picked up some trousers and thought that it would be a good idea to put them on? No I put trousers on those women when they were sleeping, I don't want to toot my own horn but I pretty much single handedly kickstarted women's revolution. You can thank me later"  

I could ... Not think of anything constructive to say so I stuck with "damn" I know he picked up the look of awe in my eye 

"um I respect what you do but could you please lay off Joey, it's ripping him to shreds"  

" fine, he's already at the stage where he tries on your make up consciously when your at work anyway so my work is done" 

I finally felt total relief. Then his words sunk into my brain 

"wait what?" but he had already disappeared into a mass of flamboyant pink sparkles.