My Tutor Turned Me Gay? - Percico High School AU

13 - My essay

I have had a lot of tragic moments in my life but none will compare to the tragedy that will occur in my future. Do not get me wrong, I do not want this to happen, but I know it will. The most tragic thing that will happen in my life is when I lose Nico di Angelo, the love of my life. Nothing will ever compare to that.

If this assignment was given before I had a tutor, I would have written about my abusive uncle that nobody knows about. It was the only secret I have ever managed to keep, until I was shown that I should not keep it. Although having an abusive family figure is different for everyone, I know one thing that we all share is the burden placed on our shoulders. They control our lives, but in a way, we control theirs too. All my life I knew I had to keep it to myself until Nico showed me and helped me. I was finally able to see the control I had and I used it. Nico is the reason I no longer carry a burden.

Many do not know that Nico and I's relationship has gone further than the past month or so. We were childhood best friends. We were inseparable. Being children was easy, careless, freeing, but our friendship kept me grounded. Being so young I didn't know a lot and would always explore, but it was Nico who kept me from reckless, insensitive, destructive. He was always with me until his tragedy struck. Then I lost him. Knowing how wrecked I was when I lost him then makes me know that I won't be able to recover if I lose him now.

My mind has been opened in many different ways. I have also come to terms with a lot of things, most having to do with myself. Due to my uncle, I had very bad internalized homophobia. The only way I managed to overcome that was with help from Nico. He showed me that it is okay. He helped me physically and mentally with issues I didn't even know were considered problems.

I don't think about the tragedy that is waiting to happen, because I have already accepted it. I cannot risk losing moments with him that are way too valuable to lose. I have managed to lose him once and it killed me. If I lose him now, it will destroy me. My tragic moment will not be all tragic. I know this because I will willingly go through all the pain of losing him if it means that I met him.