Wolfstar At Hogwarts

I'm Here

Warning: suicide attempt

Sirius held his breath as Remus lifted the knife, and then did a very surprising thing. He tossed it off the tower's balcony. It kept falling, falling, falling, falling, until they heard a clink. It had hit the bottom. Remus smiled grimly, and then swung one leg over the balcony rail. Finally, it clicked in Sirius's head what was about to happen. He leapt out of his hiding spot and yelled 'WAIT!' 

Remus was so surprised, he lost his balance and fell over the balcony. Sirius, freaking out, said the first spell that came to his head. 'Wingardium Leviosa!' Remus stopped falling, and began to float in mid-air, and Sirius almost fainted in relief. He brought Remus back up the balcony and towards himself, and when Remus was barely an inch from the ground, Sirius lowered his wand. Remus's feet hit the floor with a thud, and he glared at Sirius. 'What were you thinking?' he yelled. Sirius was extremely surprised. He had been expecting something more along the lines of a 'thank you for saving me from myself.'

'Me? The question should be, what were you thinking? You could have died!' Sirius yelled back. Remus took a deep breath, and then said slowly, 'That, Sirius, was what I was trying to do. But you just had to follow me here and ruin it, didn't you?' 

'Well, excuse me if I got worried when I saw someone very close to me sneak out of bed at night! And I was right to be worried!' Sirius shot back.

'YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!' Remus shouted. 'YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A MONSTER! TO HAVE SOMETHING TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND AND PLAY WITH IT! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE UNMADE! AND THIS HAPPENS TO ME EVERY MONTH!'

Sirius was stunned into silence. In a different situation, he probably would've cracked a joke, relating this to periods for girls, but now was not the time.

Remus was crying now, but he wasn't making any noise or sniffling or anything. There were silent tears streaming down his face, and Sirius instinctively knew that Remus had done this before a lot. 

Not knowing what he was doing, Sirius walked over to where Remus had backed away from him and hugged him. That's how they stayed for at least fifteen minutes, Remus silently crying into Sirius's hair, Sirius hugging him tighter whenever the crying got worse. After about fifteen minutes, the tears subsided, and Remus disentangled himself from Sirius. 'Thanks,' he said, quietly. Sirius smiled weakly. 'No problem. I'm here. I always will be.'

Remus knew it wasn't the right time for this. But the second Sirius finished his sentence, Remus couldn't stop himself.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips onto Sirius's into a short, passionate kiss. Just as quickly as he had done it, Remus pulled away. Sirius looked dazed, but he had a huge smile on his face as he touched his lips. 'Well, I guess now I have a reason to never do this again,' Remus said, gesturing to the balcony.

At that precise moment, James and Peter ran in, panting. 'I woke up to use the restroom and saw you guys weren't there, so I woke up James and he saw where you were on the Marauders' Map,' Peter said, out of breath.

'Are you ok? Did anything happen?' James said, clearly panicking. Sirius looked at Remus, and he saw the clear discomfort in Remus's face. 'Nope. Remus just couldn't sleep, so he went out for a walk,' Sirius lied. 

'Alright...' said James, clearly suspicious. 'But then why are you at the Astronomy Tower? And why are you here, Sirius?' 

'I followed him because I was worried, but he saw me and we just spent some time talking. I guess we subconsciously came up here,' Sirius replied. 

'But-' James said. 

'Anyone else sleepy?' Remus interrupted. 'Come on, let's go back to bed.'

They all walked back to the dorms under James's invisibility cloak, which he had gotten when him and Peter went looking for Sirius and Remus.

Sirius was, actually, sleepy. But he realized, that as hard as he tried, after the events of the night, he couldn't sleep.