"Daddy!""Baby!!!"

Grocery trip

It was -another- peaceful day in the Dazai household until Dazai found out his secret crab stash has run out. Clearly, he was above simply informing his wife of this shortage or just going to the nearest store himself, he just had to yell loudly and scare F/n and the toddler who was drawing. Poor Odasaku's drawing was ruined because his inconsiderate father's yell had startled him and the line he was drawing suddenly pushed forward and through the entire drawing! Now his mother had a weird scar-line thing on her face.

Dazai started breathing erratically before fainting into F/n's arms. Obviously, both mother and son know how to wake him up again: kisses. Once he had his fill of kisses, he rose up from F/n's lap like he was dug out of a grave.

Dazai then told them of his crisis only interrupted by his little sobs. Ignoring the glare from F/n when he confessed about having a secret stash of seafood, he pushed them both to get ready quickly so they could head out and replenish his secret sta- the empty cupboards.

...o0o...

Odasaku was walking with his right hand in mommy's and his left in daddy's. Both had to bend a little and F/n was fine with that, but Dazai could hear his back screaming. When they had reached the grocery store, F/n had let go of Oda's hand to get a shopping cart. When she had arrived with a cart, Dazai lifted Odasaku up and sat him down on the trolley. F/n should have known this trip was not going to be uneventful in the least- all things normally do not when Dazai and Odasaku are thrown in the mix-.

Shenanigan number 1: The dream

While the family was scouring the dairy aisle, Odasaku suddenly remembered the dream he had last night.

"I had a funny dream last night," Oda said as he tried to bite into the glass jar of olives.

"Oh? Please enlighten us with the workings of your cute mind, little Oda." Dazai replied as he took the jar away from the teething toddler and placed it in the cart.

"Well, first I was walking in a jungle then I saw a small deer and I chased it and it led me to mommy. But mommy was sleeping with flowers in her hair and little animals were around her. I ran and kissed mommy on the cheek and she woke up and kissed me too and then daddy showed but his head exploded-

"Hang on, what was that about my he-

"and his head was filled with flowers and then I woke up,'' Odasaku finished and looked at his insulted father and amused mother as if wanting to know what they thought.

"Wait. I'm sorry but my hea-

"Your so cute, Oda. I love your little dream, it was very you." F/n smiled as if she loved the idea of her husband's murder with vegetation growing out of his skull. Dazai was not as pleased.

"Oh sure. You get to be sleeping beauty with Oda as the prince, but I self-combust. With roses out of my head."

"Atleast your brain's fertile...." F/n giggled.

"Oh, of course. A fertile brain is what everyone dreams of having. Atleast I'm biodegradable."

F/n rolled her eyes and chuckled then ordered her pouting husband to help her search for milk.

...o0o...

Shenanigan number 2: Vegetables

"What do you mean 'Don't get the vegetables'?"

"I mean I won't eat them, let's just leave without them. Pleeeeeeaaaase"

"Osamu, you're 26."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?"

"No-

"PLEASE."

Odasaku was currently sitting on the shopping cart glaring at his father because Dazai took the role of the family toddler. HE was supposed to beg mommy not to buy gross vegetables not his adult daddy.