Uncontrolled (Remus Lupin x oc)

20. Tattered Pieces

"S-Sirius...R-Remus," Peter squeaked. "My friends...my old friends..."

Giving a small, fake smile, Remus remarked, "We've been having a little chat, Peter, about what happened the night Lily and James died. You might have missed the finer points while you were squeaking around there on the bed..."

"Remus," Pettigrew gasped. "You don't believe him, do you? He tried to kill me."

"So we've heard," Remus replied bitterly. "I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, Peter, if you'd be so-"

"He's come to try and kill me again!" Peter shrieked. "He killed Lily and James and now he's going to kill me too! You've got to help me, Remus!"

"No one's going to try and kill you until we've sorted a few things out," Willow said irritably.

"I knew he'd come after me!" Pettigrew squeaked fearfully. "I knew he'd be back for me! I've been waiting for this for twelve years!"

"You knew Sirius was going to break out of Azkaban?" Remus mused. "When nobody had ever done it before?"

"He's got dark powers the rest of us can only dream of!" Peter squealed. "How else did he get out of there? I suppose He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named taught him a few tricks!"

With a loud, bark-like laugh, Sirius countered, "Voldemort, teach me tricks!" Peter flinched. "What, scared to hear your old master's name? I don't blame you, Peter. His lot aren't very happy with you, are they?"

"Wha-" Pettigrew began.

"Ah, I see," Willow concluded. "He's been hiding from Voldemort's supports. Not you, right Sirius?"

"Er - Mr. Black - Sirius?" Hermione said meekly. Sirius looked over at her, surprised at being addressed so politely. "If you don't mind me asking, how - how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn't use Dark Magic?"

"Thank you!" Pettigrew gasped. "Exactly! Precisely what I-" Willow glared at him and he suddenly found no sound leaving his throat. He gripped at it before throwing a venomous look at her, but Willow merely threw him a wink. Remus smiled in spite of himself.

"I don't know how I did it," he admitted finally. "I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the dementors couldn't suck it out of me...but it kept me sane and knowing who I am...helped me keep my powers...so when it all became...too much...I could transform in my cell...became a dog. Dementors can't see, you know..." He swallowed painfully. "They feel their way toward people by sensing their emotions...They could tell that my feelings were less - less human, less complex when I was a dog.

"But they thought, of course, that I was losing my mind like everyone else in there, so it didn't trouble them. But I was weak, very weak, and I had no hope of driving them away from me without a wand. But then I saw Peter in that picture...I realized he was at Hogwarts with Harry...perfectly positioned to act, if one hint reached his ears that the dark side was gathering strength again...ready to strike at the moment he could be sure of allies...and to deliver the last Potter to them.

"If he gave Harry, who'd dare say he'd betrayed Lord Voldemort? He'd be welcomed back with honours. So you see, I had to do something. I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive. It was as if someone had lit a fire in my head, and the dementors couldn't destroy it...it wasn't a happy feeling...it was an obsession...but it gave me strength, it cleared my mind. So, one night when they opened my door to bring me food, I slipped past them as a dog.

"It's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions that they were confused. I was thin, very thin, thin enough to slip through the bars. I swam as a dog to the mainland. I journeyed north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog. I've been living in the forest ever since, except when Willow took me in. I'm sorry, by the way, for taking advantage."