Counting Down

Chapter 9 - Cutting Ties

My body woke with a jolt, cold sweat beaded on my forehead. A part of me was leaping out the doorway and running to the hospital, and my body was still here. I couldn't move. Never had I ever felt this numb with pain before.

I finally willed myself to get out of bed, but collapsed to the floor, clutching my shirt in my fist. "I can do this," I muttered with as much power as I could manage from my weak lungs. I could never believe her mere memory in a dream could effect me like this. She was killing me.

I wobbled to my dresser and got out some clothes to wear. Some light make up corrected the sunken in look of my cheeks, and the eye liner at least made me look a little less dead. No make up could cover up how I felt inside. Some sunlight reached through my shades, casting their shadow on the floor through the increasing dust in the air. I walked over to the opposite wall and turned down the thermostat. The temperature was growing again, which I was happy for. Maybe some life would repair me as well as all outside.

After consuming a cup of tea and a muffin, I sat down on my couch and flicked on my laptop. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw the familiar picture of Riley and I.

-

Her hair billowed around her and mine was hidden under a green beanie. Late fall was almost always our favorite time of the year. Late fall brought out favorite holiday - Halloween. My mom thought I was far too old to be trick or treating, but seeing as we were both seventeen and this would be our last year as kids, we took the opportunity to get some free sweets, plus we could dress up. Where is the downside?

Riley and I had dressed up as Peter Pan and Wendy, but with a catch; we were also dead. Dead Peter and Wendy. I had my costume draped in fake moss, eyes blacked out with dark eyeshadow and the rips in my green leggings dripping with fake blood. My Wendy had a torn up blue dress on and a giant gash in her neck constructed with special effects make up and fake blood. Her eyes were also blacked out, but she had purchased a pair of white contacts to add on to the horror of her costume. We were a brilliant duo.

We spent the entire night wandering the tiny neighborhood we called home, scaring the younger kids and taking so much candy we could have lived off of it for a solid year. While walking back, the fog had cleared and the cooler air whisked up to clear the night sky of clouds to the open heavens around us. "Isn't it b-beautiful?" Riley shivered from my side, gazing at the stars in wonder.

I laced my hand with hers and said, "not as beautiful as you."

She giggled. "E-even with all-l of this m-make up?"

"Even without it, my love," I smiled. I removed my leather jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, sheltering her from the wind. We made it to my street before I said, "Come here, let's remember our last Halloween as kids." I took my camera in my hands and turned it towards us. I wrapped my arm around her waist and rested my hand on the small of her back before clicking the camera.

-

I snapped out of my trance and blinked. I logged into the laptop and changed the background to the default. Once changed, I sat back and took a few deep breaths. I felt anxiety clawing up my throat, blocking any air from entering my body. I ran to the kitchen and groped for my bottle of anxiety pills. I took two, downing them dry. The doctor said they take a while to take effect, but I needed the relief right away, or at least before I lost it completely. I decided the best idea before going out on my escapade would be to enjoy the outside. I grabbed my keys with shaky hands and opened the door.

The air was warm, considering it was late April. It was like life was returning to everything. The air held a sweeter aroma that fluttered the blossoms on the trees like bells. The snow had gone and the growing grass was green. Small flowers were popping up out of the spongy soil. The clouds were, unusually, nowhere to be found. I couldn't help but have at least a little enthusiasm what with the beauty around me. I looked down at my arms, rubbing away the goosebumps. This was a crazy idea. Who the hell even does this? A desperate person. That's who.