How it started

Chapter 3

KAMARI
—
Seep into my soul
Fathom in my hurt
Dig into my skin
For it is I who unfolds
—

I turn fast, too scared to even think of who it could be.

Turning was one of the biggest mistakes I could have ever done because it's him, it's fucking him and I wasn't prepared for any of this.

"You." I whisper as I stand up loosing my grip and stability for second, gripping onto the roof for help as he steps forward to catch me just in case.

I back up quickly, not wanting to be closer to him then I already was, "leave." I say my tone full of absolutely nothing.

"Kam, wait-" he says stepping even closer then before.

"Leave me the fuck alone. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't come near me noir. I want nothing to do with you." I say looking away from him trying to capture my emotions before they can escape from my reach and blow up in my face.

" you have every right to have this type of reaction, but please let me explain-" I stop him mid sentence, my head starting to ache and my exhaustion starting to make itself present.

"No. I want nothing from you, absolutely fucking nothing noir." I say inching towards him until I'm standing right in front of him, looking up at him. He gulps and looks down into my eyes.

"Kam-" I close my eyes dreading the nickname, scrunching my face up at the invisible knife that stabs me every time he says it.

"Stop. Please just leave me alone." I furrow my eyebrows and bring my hands up to the side of my head rubbing circles to stop the throbbing pain from worsening.

"Just give me one chance to explain myself kam, that's all I'm asking for." I open my eyes noticing how the moon shines above him making his eyes more appealing to me.

"I'm not ready for this yet, I need time, I need a breath of air because I feel like your presence is suffocating me and you have to understand how incredibly selfish this is of you to do this on the date that you left and on my birthday as well." I say wincing at the memory of how he walked right out of my life with no remorse in his eyes or emotion at all.

He winces at my words letting them seep deep within his core before he speaks up again, " I understand, I'll give you time but you should know that I'll be seeing you a lot and I'll make sure to make my presence known."

I take a deep breath turning around for a second as I mentally gather myself up before side stepping him and heading towards the exit of the roof.

"Goodbye kam, happy birthday once again." He mumbles quietly making me stop in my tracks at his tone but then continuing my actions after I pull myself together.

—

The leaves underneath my feet crunch as music blasts my ears silencing the millions of thoughts, screams, overlapping voices that never seem to get the hint to shutup, so I walk crunching on the leaves underneath me in hopes of distracting and drowning out my sorrows.

The moon has never seemed to devious and sinister looking till now to me, it knew all along that he was coming back, it knew all along that my heart would burst and throb at the seems of seeing him.

Why did I trust the moon?

Why did I trust him?

Why did I trust myself?

I feel a physical ache go through me when I think of the betrayal and the truths that feel out of his mouth that day.

The wind starts to pick up around me, my hair flapping around as I snuggle closer into my scarf, I start to get closer to my own personal hell getting prepared for my tired body to be absolutely wasted.