𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 | 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

People Watching - Jean x Mikasa

"I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence
Next one I choose to trust, I hope I use some common sense." - People Watching, Conan Grey

A one shot focused on S4 Jean, who has a particular hate for Eren because of something that he stole.
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In a world that was not his own, Jean imagined that one day, his days would come to an end with a feeling of triumph attached to it.

Unfortunately, he knew that that was not how he would go out.

Jean had dreamed all throughout his youth how he would grow up. Of course, he was living in his years that one considered "growing up". But for him, and all the others that he had "grown up" with, they had skipped that carefree period that was a childhood. By being thrust into the trauma of the real world so young, it was simply impossible to come back.

He had grown up a long time ago.

And so, he dreamed that one day he could have those carefree moments where he wouldn't have to double-take for a threat. He could relax and eat the plentiful food that would be available to him, not having to draw his gear at the slightest noise that could be a Titan. That could be a human enemy.

And instead, he could just live.

But he would live this life with someone else.

Who was the question. Of course, it had always been the girl that he thought of every living moment of every day, ever since he was a child. Before she had cut her hair because the rebel told her she was better without it, he remembered how it flowed by her shoulders and against the wind. How fearless she was in the wake of danger. How powerful. How her eyes would sparkle at the sight of the sea when she first realised she could be free.

And how her eyes darkened when the suicidal manic pointed at the same sea.

"The enemies on the other side," that kid had said. As Jean sat on his bed, his tears just finally beginning to dry, he could feel the wetness once again. Why couldn't he have kept his tendencies to conquer, to kill, to himself?

He was rambling. His hatred thoughts that he wanted to go elsewhere were spilling out and he knew it, he knew it because it was the years of hatred and loathing and sadness that had been building up over years at a time. All because he was too much of a wimp to help the girl that he knew he loved, and because he knew that deep down that gut feeling he had about her was right.

That she would not be the girl, the wife, the mother that he wanted her to be for him.

So very right.

Because she loved Eren.

In a world that was not his own, Jean Kirstein would take Mikasa Ackerman's hand and give her a ring. Or maybe not even that. Maybe instead, he knew that she just needed a hug.

He had dreams like that, that one day he would feel all the love and emotions that you do when you're in love. But love was just so trivial and unimportant— so why did he think about that when lives were on the line? Why was it something that he clung to like a baby blanket every night when he fell asleep, afraid that it would fly away in the night and never return?

Was it something that helped him survive? That feeling of love with her, even if it would never come true? Jean put his head in his hands, his heart on his sleeves, and watched as the tiny droplets of water shined down his clothes and onto the hardwood.

In a world that was not his own, he would smile. A baby would be in his arms.

But why should he get too attached to a distant dream that he would never be able to find again? A memory that could never come true?

So while he waited for another love, he would watch her smile fade as her own love drifted further and further away. Jean would try to comfort her when Eren acted recklessly, not caring if he died, because he couldn't understand how much he meant to her. He would watch.

Like Armin. Like Hange. Connie. Levi. Sasha, may her soul rest.

He would be people, watching. And he would be waiting.