Why can't things ever go as planned? (Cover by @Kitsune_the1)

Incorrect Quotes

Pre-Shippuden

Sasuke: how's your boyfriend?

Nakano: I don't have a boyfriend 

Sasuke: I know, just reminding you

Nakano: ...how's your clan? 

Chouji, Kiba & Naruto: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Nakano: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Ino: How am I supposed to know?
Shikamaru: You say, as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Ino: *sighs*
Ino: You wouldn't be trapped.

Asuma, about Nakano: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.
Ino: Are we stealing them?
Chouji: New or used?
Shikamaru: Wonderful responses, both of you. *sarcastic*

Shikaku: Are we really going to let Gaara keep Nakano?
Shikamaru: We kept Temari.

Naruto cast in the HP universe

Nakano: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Sasuke: This katana is actually a magic wand.
Sakura: Meet me in the DADA class lot for a wizard duel. *cracking knuckles*
Ino: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Ron: What the bloody hell is wrong with you people.

Narutoverse

Naruto: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Kiba: Tubular AF!
Kankuro: Mood to the max!
Gaara, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Sasuke, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she's a square.

Narutoverse

Naruto: I'm an idiot.
Nakano:
Sakura:
Sasuke:
Ino:
Naruto:
Sasuke: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Modern au

Kabuto: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Sakura: :O language
Naruto: Yeah watch your fucking language
Kakashi: OKAY WHO TAUGHT NARUTO THE FUCK WORD?
Nakano: 'The fuck word'.
Sasuke: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Naruto: Oh my gosh, he censored it
Nakano: Say fuck, Sasuke.
Naruto: Do it, Sasuke. Say fuck.

HP-verse

Temari: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Hermione: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Ino: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Sakura: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the academy.
Ginny: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Nakano:
Nakano: I have emotional scars.

Modern au

*The squad is over at Nakano's house*
Sakura: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Nakano: ... N-No...
Nakano, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have?
Sakura, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Ino: I see a-
Nakano A, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Sakura: Oh, well I-
Nakano: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Nakano, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Temari: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Tenten: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Nakano: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Nakano: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Nakano, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Nakano: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Temari, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Nakano:
Sakura: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Nakano:
Nakano, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

Girl party HP-universe, the Naruto girls teach the HP girls

Tenten: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Lavender: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Ino: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Lavender, learn to listen.
Ginny: What if it bites itself and I die?
Temari: That's voodoo.
Hermione: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Sakura: That's correlation, not causation.
Pansy: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Nakano: That's kinky.
Tenten: Oh my God.