Saving you (kuzusoda)

Everybody Talks

TWs: talk of parent death, homophobia, s//icide references, s/h references

Kazuichi was let out of hospital only a day later. He was relieved that he didn't have to spend as much time there as last time, the hospital scared him. He knew exactly why and didn't enjoy thinking about it. His father was there to meet him. "Hello Kazuichi," the man said uncomfortably.

"Hi," Kazuichi replied. They were silent as the man signed them out of the hospital and wandered out to the car. Is was quiet most of the way home too.

Finally, his father spoke. "Last time I was here this often was when your mother... heh..."

"Mhm." That's exactly why I don't like being here.

His father cleared his throat. "So. I have many questions, son."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not sure where to start."

"I'm sorry I like men. I'm sorry I survived my attempt. I'm sorry I'm sad and scared of everyone all the time," Kazuichi didn't know himself if he was genuinely sorry, or if he was mocking his father's distaste.

"I don't like your tone."

"I don't know what tone I'm using."

Pause.

"So you are Kuzuryu are...?"

"He told you?"

"Yup, very loudly."

"He does that."

Quiet.

"You only like men?"

"Yup."

"How long have you known that?"

"A year now."

"You didn't tell me?"

"I thought if I told you you'd hit me or kick me out or something."

"I... would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about that."

Kazuichi felt sick. He almost kicked me out? "Why didn't you?"

"Kick you out? Cos your mother wouldn't've let me if she were still here."

Thank you mum. I hope you're watching right now, thank you. "That's the only reason?"

"Main reason. Made me give myself some time to think at least."

"And...?"

"I still... don't know how to feel about it honestly. I don't agree with it, it's unnatural and uncomfortable, to think that my own son... but I still love you as a father," the man seemed conflicted. "I don't know how to feel. But you're certainly not being kicked out."

"Well it's not your life is it?"

"Hm?"

"You're not the gay one are you?"

"What does this have to do with anything? Of course I'm not gay."

"It might be weird and unnatural to you but to me it just feels normal, and anyway you don't have to live with being gay, so what's your problem with it? You can't change it and it doesn't affect you so why do you care?"

"But it does affect me, son. You're my kid, I wanted you to grow up well."

"And what does me liking men change here?"

"You know how I feel about gays..."

"Why do you care so much?!"

"You're my son and you're probably going to get married to a man!"