We Break Promises, Memories Break Us

Promised

                                                                    Jessica

“I promise,” was all I could tell Lia. There is an obvious reason that she doesn’t want to be in this house, and it is my duty to help her. I am not one of these high and mighty social workers. Yes, I am in it to save the kids, and I would like to say that I have saved a lot of kids in the six years that I have been working with the state of New Jersey, but when it comes to social services, the lines are blurred of what actually defines “saving.” I have had to remove so many children from their families and put them with strangers. We do screen our foster families, but with how many kids we have in our system, it is fairly hard to keep tabs on them all. My caseload alone contains 36 cases as of right now. I have multiple siblings’ cases, so keeping them together is always hard.

            With Amelia though, I always thought that she was happy, this has been her longest placement and the Kinsley’s have had over 30 foster children go in and out of their home. I knew something was up. At our monthly meetings Amelia only had nice things to say about the Kinsley’s. Sure she fought with their son, Mitch, sometimes but what teenage siblings don’t fight? I was hoping that this would be a success story, another little girl getting her forever home, and she deserved it.

            I meant that promise that I made to her, I want to keep her happy, her teenage years are the most important in situations like this, and it can become difficult to bring them back if they shut down. She was very hesitant to say anything and seemed a little jumpy. I excused myself from her bedroom, and left her to do whatever she was doing on her computer.

            I left to go and talk to the Kinsley’s again; I wanted to investigate for myself before I just pulled her from the house. It was blatantly obvious that she didn’t want to stay here, something was messing with this girl, and I needed to figure out what it is.

            “Mr. and Mrs. Kinsley, have you noticed anything odd about Amelia in the recent months?”

            “Oh, well she is just a typical teenager,” Mrs. Kinsley stated after much hesitation, “She fights with Mitch, sometimes she will wake up and not talk to him, and he tries whatever he can to get her attention. It is quite sad actually, I wish I knew how to reach out to her, she seems so lost.”

            During this conversation, I started to realize more and more why Amelia didn’t want to be in this house anymore. The parents were acting like they knew something they weren’t telling me. I called Amelia back out from her room, and sat her down with Mr. and Mrs. Kinsley, and told her that I will find her a new foster to go to, but that it could take up to a week. Mrs. Kinsley didn’t seem too happy by this, because she jumped up saying something about a laptop and an iPod.

            “But momma,” was all I could hear from a meek Amelia, “You and Mr. Kinsley told me that these were my gifts, no matter my decision.”

            “Yes, but that was when we thought you would be our daughter… I always wanted a daughter.”

            “Mrs. Kinsley, if I may interject, if you gave Lia presents, they are hers, especially if there is a ‘no matter what’ clause.”

            Mrs. Kinsley just huffed and stormed into the other room, Mr. Kinsley right behind her. I felt Amelia come up beside me and give me a hug, and she whispered, “Thank you, Jessica, I promise I won’t mess this one up.”

            “Oh, Lia, none of this was your fault, you just weren’t meant for this family, we will find you one that fits, I promise.”

            My phone started to ring, so I excused myself from Amelia and walked outside, taking the call. My supervisor told me about a sixteen-year-old boy who was now part of my caseload. After that phone call I walked back inside to excuse myself stating that I would have a new placement for Amelia by Thursday, Friday at the latest.