My Story: How I started and more!

Introduction

My name is Luisa-Rose Mander.

My birth name is Natalie.

But I prefer to be called Luisa-Rose now. I haven't had quite the easy life that you all would think that I have had but then again, nobody's life would run smoothly because we all have a little bump in the road which is normal however, my life is continuously bumpy roads with what I would call a billion pot holes that need filled in but can't be filled in. The story behind my name is that I decided that I would combine my favourite fictional character (Luisa) and my favourite flower (Rose) together and my nana and papa's last name (Mander) to make my new name of Luisa-Rose Mander. However last year was one of the most bumpiest roads I had ever been on and I ended up coming off my skateboard, as I like to call it, and then at the end of the year in December it happened all over again I ended up coming off my skateboard. Now I can say one thing. I am not a very good skateboarder but I do have one in my room though. However the first time that I metophorically fell off my skateboard was in the end of July the start of August. I have just come back from living with my mom's friend for a week to let my family calm down from an argument that had happened and so I could also clean my mind and my head too. I didn’t go back until Saturday, one week and 1 day after I had gone to hers. The worst part you ask? The work part was that when I knew that I was going back home I cried for about 5 minutes or so while I laid in the bed I was given because I didn’t want to go back. Sitting in the car on the way home was even worse because I couldn’t even get any words out, never mind a full sentence. So the only thing I could say was, Yes. No. Ok. Not sure. Don’t know yet. Yeah, so my maximum word length was about 3 words before I had to fight the tears back and fake laughing, even though one tear came down my face and out of my left eye and it was just as worse when I got back into my bedroom again. It was all exactly where I had left it and on top of that it was as if I had never left at all because the arguments started up all over again. Oh and guess what. I had to pretend like my girlfriend at the time was nothing to me, so I was once again back to square one. BUT. On the other hand. I was kicked out on July 30th. I went to bed as usual and had my tv on as my dvd player and my 2 bags were packed. The only thing that I had on me really was a few hoodies and a couple of jackets that I wore until I got to my ex’s. But then again I was going by train after all and the worst part. He used the rest of the money my grandad gave me so I didn’t have any money to go see him and he was my best friend.

Before I go on I just want to say it is 12:14am in the morning in the uk, so uk time, and I have a lump in my throat from the tears that are threatening to come out of my mouth and my eyes which I am fighting away.
Anyways as I said my grandad was my best friend, and he never felt like a grandad to me. Even when I broke his heart twice he was still my best friend because he would be the one person I could talk to, the one person that I knew that I could go to for a hug. But when I moved in with my ex-boyfriend aka Ryan. I was told of a family member, who I shall not say, that I would NOT be allowed any contact with any of my family such as my aunties and uncles as well as my nana and grandad aka papa. That killed me to bits because my papa was the one person I needed every single day. Even now. I need him now but I know I can’t have him.

But I also know that it not only took me away from the people I lost but it also taught me that no matter what even if I do move out I have to fight what anyone says and not go back home because of the simple fact that I would be still living with my parents at the age of 30 which I dont want and I am already 18. But at the same time it also taught me that even if my nana and papa were still here I would literally not get told anything about what would happen to them either, and it brought me closer to my ex in the worst way possible. It was enough for rape to happen to me. Although I get told it was not my fault I am still convinced that it was my fault due to the clothes that I was wearing. It was only until the end of August that I actually came back home again due to a massive argument that my ex and I had the night before hand and the start of September was the day I went to collect all of my clothes and items and it was the month were I was having the police over to talk to me about everything that had happened, on the phone first and then it was in person. I told them that I didn’t want to take him to court because I knew he would turn it all against me and as I said he would, he ended up blaming me for everything that had happened completely. He acted like he was the victim even though he knew I just wanted to sleep.

December came along and yes my urge to change my name was actually still quite high anyways until one day where I was told that my papa (grandad) had passed away and that was on December 23rd so I tried to be strong even though he was indeed my best friend of all time. Then his funeral was in January, and as I had suspected my nana would be passing away soon as I said that she would be going 2 days after my papa (grandad) but obviously in January not december, and guess what happened my nana of course passed away on January 25th 2021 so I kicked off this year with a massive falling flat on my arse with scratch and scars that had been reopened again even though I tried to keep them shut they just opened all back up again. I did indeed cry at my grandad’s but my nana was a different story as I wasnt that close to her but I did bite back all the tears that I held back from. I was stronger than I had ever been and I knew that for once in my life I wasn't going to be alright at all. That was the only time that I was able to admit that I was not going to be ok and that might have been ok then but I know now that I can’t admit that it is going to be ok when I know for a fact that I am not going to be ok without writing.

And that is how I came with now being called:

Luisa-Rose Mander

I know that this has been a very long introduction to my life and my backstory so let's get into the actual story about How I Started Writing AND so much more!
I never thought that one day I would want to even be a writer or somewhat of a writer, I would always think that I would be a nursery teaching assistant, or a children's writer but that was only because I was wanting to just put only pictures in the books without any writing. I used to always want to be an actress or a singer. However how much would it be for me to achieve it I still wanted it to be something I wanted to do. However as I grew up I started to write more and more and more and more, however as a result I am now 18 and I am writing more and more and more, and as a result I am even near to finishing my first book - three girls one doctor - and hoping that I also manage to somehow get it published or even some were where I could have more people read it.

I knew that I had to start somewhere and with something so I would write my ideas and I would write everything down on paper and then when I got my first laptop I would write everything down on there and then on top of that I would also make sure that the notes were clear ready for when I would find the perfect website/app for writing my stories onto which would make me have more room and a lot more paper than I would have before hand, which makes a lot of paper left on my shelf or even lying around my bedroom floor or even then it would just be in general.

Especially as I know now that one day just one day I am going to be able to be happy again just like how I used to be and how I also used to feel like I used to be, which made me feel a lot more relaxed knowing that the paper stash would still be full from a year possibly 2 years nearly 3 years, and it would all be thanks to my high school for letting my year have the laptops and it would also be thanks to one special brain cell of mine that would go looking for websites on google unil I got told about the one app and website that would change my entire life and my entire career altogether.
Thanks to my ex-girlfriend for that one day at college when you told me about the app that would change everything for me.

That app was:

WattPad!