Writer's Café

✨RANT✨

Okay, so I know you guys were probably expecting a chapter that talked more about writing but this random rant about some things on Wattshit (oop-) is really necessary.

You guys know by now that following all the things stated in a writing guide doesn't work to get you famous. Well, here's the thing, you won't get famous by following a writing guide like mine. The most that's gonna happen is that, you might be able to understand where you are going wrong and try improving. Doesn't guarantee you getting famous at all.

It depends on your attitude though. Do you want to be famous or do you want your books to get famous? There's a difference, you know? I've seen a lot of accounts with thousands of followers and you might think their books are exceptional. Obviously, no one is exceptional when they first start out. Their first books won't be as good as the recent works. But some, despite their 'popularity' have average type of books with cliche plots.

Let's rewind back a few chapters, cliche plots aren't bad. Copying the plot multiple times with no creativity makes it cliche. But some accounts, they offer absolutely nothing. Not even one well formed book and they have reads in millions and I'm sure it gets on your nerves. It gets on my nerves too.

But here's the thing, the number of reads on their books mean nothing. The number of reads on your book mean nothing. It only matters when you strive to give your best out there, no copying, just your creativity.

Now, there are several ways to get reads. Simplest way, just enter your book in as many awards as possible. The only drawback of entering in awards is, you have to follow tons of people and pretend to know them whenever they make an announcement. But the good thing is, people read it and your book gets in someone's reading list. A browsing person would see your book in the reading list and include it in their reading list too. So, your book reaches many people out there.

Next option, give your book in a review shop. If your book is absolutely shit from every angle, be ready to take the reviews and if your books fall into an especially strict reviewer (not me), just pray. Anyways, it's a sure way to rise the number of reads and you'll get pointers on how to improve your writing.

This is how you make your books get famous.

Next, how to become famous. Honestly, I have no idea how to do that. I'm not famous as you can tell from the number of my followers. Most of them must be the people I gave review on their book or might have judged in an award.

The point is, I don't know how to get famous in terms of followers because I've never cared for followers unless they seek friendship from me. Don't expect it from my end because I'm such a recluse that I'll never reach out to you first. I wish to change this trait of mine so bad. T-T

Anyways, it's hard to get followers on Wattpad, I have first hand experience. I really did start from scratch, no friends whatsoever. The one friend I forced to create an account on WP, she never followed me and I'm pretty sure she forgot this app exists.

So, what did I do? I did follow for follow. I searched accounts that had a line 'I follow everyone' written in their bio and bam! I got followers but the thing with such followers is that, they'll never read your books, maybe 1 out 5 might. So you have to decide for yourself. Reads or followers? The choice is yours.

Oh, but did I mention those accounts with 10k followers with zero books and zero reading lists? I mean, why are you even on WP. At least add the books you read in your reading lists to promote them. SMH. But like, how the hell did these people become so famous when I'm writing three books at once here just because I want to give my best to my readers? I pity them for their always full notifications. Say bye to important stuff.

Next up, kids of WP. Some kids on WP are so, idk what to call them. Shit, language crisis! Some kids are so fake, just pure fake. I mean, how do they get so much time to catfish people with their either cringey sweet or depressing behaviour instead of studying. Like, hell kid, give me your time. I sometimes have no time for WP because of my studies and this kid keeps posting things from their 10 different account. And then they have the nerve to say, 'Im depressed cuz my mom shouted at me for not studying.'

I mean, duh. My mom would hit me with the first thing she sees if I don't study. Just Asian things, my mom isn't abusing me. She's one of my bestest friend.

I digress. The point of this rant is that, WP is an absolutely shitty place if you think about it. I mean, I can imagine this place being a really good platform for practicing, aspiring writers back in the day but now, it's almost like any other social media site. You can't trust anyone and you sure as hell can't expect to see your books becoming famous overnight.

It took almost 11 months for After Hours, a completed FF of mine to reach 12k reads. And it was my third full length book. My first book which will be completing 1 year on WP in August has only 3k reads but I'm okay with that cuz that book needs some serious editing.

So, like if you are going slow, started from scratch with no support whatsoever, don't be disheartened. Don't lose hope and don't stop writing. The key here is to keep going without a care of anything and you'll get there for sure. Someday, you'll see that the reads on the book are not the ones you yourself gave.

But, if you aren't the patient kind and want instant success, here's what I found for you and I'm gonna write it down in short for you so that you don't have to go through a whole book.

1. Pick a cliche plot.

2. Kill the parents of the protagonist making them depressed.

3. Include a bully and a hero to save the damsel in distress. (gag)

4. Don't, absolutely don't make an original character. Make it a Y/N story so the readers can imagine themselves kissing the hot guy.

5. Create a love triangle.

6. The boyfriend's mom HAS to hate Y/N.

Now, if you are a BTS FF writer, kindly follow this:
1. Follow everything written above.

2. Always write maknae line books. Always. No one likes hyung line books. (pls, I have a knife ready for these people to write that in that guide.)

3. Always include smut. If possible, make your characters fuck even when the world is ending. FF readers love it. Chef's kiss.

4. If you are shipper, even if you are not, write a TaeKook FF.

5. Again, must include smut even if you don't know how gay sex works.

6. Keep the book as dirty as possible.

7. Don't care about grammar. If it has smut, it sells. Fry your readers' braincells.

If you follow these, according to the original writer of these tips, you'll be definitely famous.

Thank you for coming to my rant session and I hope you enjoyed it because I sure as hell feel much better after writing all that. If you want to rant some more, please do here
(☞^o^) ☞

Since this was a rant session, I'm freeing you from the torture of reading my dad jokes. Wait—
Shouldn't it be girl jokes? Or sis jokes? Cuz I definitely have big tiddies and I'm not even married yet to have kids. Dang, what should I call my jokes. Should I call them 'My dad's jokes'?

Man, this question is hard. If you know the answer, please free me from this dilema ಥ‿ಥ