𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐄

𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚

Pair ; Minsung
Contains ; sad stuff which is very hopeful. Implied. Extremely vague MCD.
That's me being sad uwu

July 19, 2021
2:31 am

[Adjusts the camera]

Hi [makes a face at his dying voice and clears throat]

Hi! I know I said I was going to maintain a good sleeping schedule but eh let's ignore the time for both of our sake.

[There is the sound of whirring in the background followed very offended purrs by the tiny little devils. Minho groans, gazing fondly at the gremlins playing on his bed.]

So. Surprise! I got accepted in the university. And i am happy. I am so happy. I still feel a little guilty for being this happy but I am getting there, I swear. [Their is a light chuckle as Minho stares at the photo frame next to his table.]

The break. It was helpful. I realised that no I am not passionless or something I was just suppressing my dreams because dancing isn't really a very reliable choice of occupation. But I had this realisation when I was crying over a cactus video that no I don't want to be a doctor. Or anything my parents want me to be. I want to dance. As long as I can so yeah we argued and it took time but they relented at last. I won't say understood but hah you remember how they reacted when I came out. Anyway our relationship is strained and probably will be but whatever it's not your problem, I'll just pester my therapist.

Oh yeah. I have a therapist. Ta da. Guess therapy actually works. It didn't at first. Made me feel worse than I actually was so I switched a lot untill I finally found someone I could talk to. Actually feel okay and not get that skin crawling feeling.

I am still a bit fucked up.[another chuckle as Minho plops on the bed, showing the cats who watch it curiously before going back to cuddling. Cuddling and them were mushy soulmates]

Gosh you won't believe the ugly ass intrusive thoughts I have sometimes. But as I said I am getting there. It'll take time but yeah.

I miss you. I miss you so much please I feel like I am gonna cry if I keep on speaking. [Minho takes a deep breath letting it out a bit jaggedly]

Han Jisung how are you? I refuse to believe you are at a place happier than here. Because you were happy here. All my happy memories and yours were made in this city. This place. But I hope it's a good place. Are you taking care of yourself? I am. For you. Atleast trying to.

I made steak today. I think I should become a part time chef too. It's been a while since I cooked. I feel happy. This feeling of happiness that I'll get there one day. I just. I just have to hang on. Keep on trying.

Time heals old wound and all is such a bullshit thing though. Because I love you. I love you so much and as cringey as this sounds their is a han Jisung shaped hole in my heart that's never gonna heal. Because everywhere I go I see you. In the smal things, in people. I think how you would have loved that rainbow vomit jacket just because you are you. Gay little shit.

So I miss you. So much sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. But it's getting better. I don't cry everytime now. [Minho does that half wink half closing your eyes thing]

[A pause]

I- I am letting you go now han. It's scary and yeah. I am letting you go. I love you and I'll forever cherish you. But I no longer want to cry over you I want to remember you as the boy I loved. So much.

I want to remember you as my star boy.

It still hurts. Probably will for a long time. That's what you do to people Jisung. Make them fall utterly in love with you dumbass.

[A fond smile and teary eyes]

Goodbye Jisung. I love you. I love you so much. I forever will

Minho
Your soulmate.