yesterday's news.

viii. with(out) you.

soft whispers creep upon my spine
when i miss your voice the most.

goosebumps raise on my arms
the way they used to when your
cold hands pressed against them
after a long day.

tell me i am herewith you,
no longer imaginary,
in a reality i can not recall,
where i reach out my hand
and call your name
and you scream mine back.

not like last time,that echoes on replay,
bouncing between my ears.
the scream you bellowed
that has changed the way
i will forever hear my name.

i am so sorry, my love.
guilt will forever sit by my side
in replacement of your shadow.
denial has become my best friend.

i wish to visit you,
to crawl inside the casket you sleep in
and get one last embrace of your warmth.
become bones,
a soul chasing the in between
with you.

i hope you can forgive me.
the moss has made your grave their home.
the bees dance around the flowers that stretch across your name.

you are at peace,
a state i will forever envy.

i am so sorry, my love.