Motherly Love

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My first breath

My first word

My first walk

My first run

My first heartbreak


You were there for it all

You were my all

You were all I knew 

All I loved


So why is it 

Why when I get older

Your love seems to wayne

The attention 

Affection

Care


Why does it all seem to disappear 

With the pain inside my chest

The pain you both caused

The pain how badly it hurts


Could you help me with it

Do you care enough to help?


All I wanted was your love

Your appraisal 

Your approval

Yet 

Whenever I did something good I'd only get a little

Yet


When I did something bad

I got belittled

I got hurt

Pushed down

By my own mother


You


You were supposed to heal my wounds 

You were supposed to kiss them all better

Give me love, attention, affection 

You were supposed to love me till the end of time

Yet here we are


The pain you caused

Everlasting

The pain he caused 

Everlasting

Will I ever escape? 

Will I ever get over this bittersweet tragedy?


Why couldn't we just be happy together. 

Why couldn't you love me like a normal mother

That "Mother Love"

I crave it but never seem to receive it when needed.

At the end of the day


YOU ARE MY SOURCE OF PAIN...but I still love you...</3

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