Out of Bounds

Part 5

Aspens P.O.V.

*knock knock knock*

The sound of hard knuckles against the dark wood door startled me back to the reality of my situation. Curled on top of my bed, I lay motionless. My brain pounded against my skull with fury. A few hot tears parachuted from my eyes, landing on my nose. Mad, angry, terrified; all words that came close but didn't fully grasp what was shaking through my body. The handle on the door turned slowly and I narrowed my eyes at it with hate. An icy breeze trickled through the small crack now opened, sneaking over and biting my bare toes. A static shiver shot through my legs up into my finger tips.

"Aspen.." A voice emerged from behind the door.

My eyes burned with tears once more and I turned around so my back faced the door. A sick feeling hung in the pit of my stomach; something like hunger and sea sickness.

The door clicked shut and the haunting presence in the room was unbearable. Although the voice wasn't heard again, I knew it was undeniably the voice of Ryder's. Thinking of him, the dirty, sick bastard that brought me here, just standing there looking at me made my skin crawl.

"Please talk to me Aspen. I..I'm.. Sorry." Ryder spoke softly.

"Sorry?!" I spat out, turning around to face him. "That's what you want to say, that you're "sorry!"

Confused and startled, doe-eyed Ryder stared back without words.

"You are disgusting. I don't care how many times the word sorry leaves your mouth, it will always mean absolutely nothing to me. Now please leave me alone." My voice pierced the thick wall of air between us. Tears continued to threaten and my hands held a death grip on the meager blanket that lay on the bed.

"I-I never meant for you.. I.. I just..," Ryder spurted ending with a deep sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck.

For the first time I saw something different in Ryder than the hot, mysterious, stranger on a motor bike that I had known before. This person was nothing like that; he was shy and nervous and lacked confidence. A memory of our first encounter flickered through my mind as I stared at him, seeing not a bit of similarity in the Ryder standing before me and the one at the coffee shop. For a brief moment, I almost felt pity for him. But quickly resumed the disdain for him as I remembered the previous nights events.

"I'll go." Ryder breathed quietly, breaking the silence. "I-I really am sorry.." His voice cracked and it looked as if he was about to cry. Just as he was about to leave, he paused for a minute, turned back to me and opened his mouth to say something. My heart caught in my chest, waiting for him to say more but not another word was spoken.

When the door clicked shut, I no longer could hold back my tears. I let them flow freely and endlessly as I sank face first into my pillow. "You hate him", I told myself. "You hate them all." Yet for some reason I ached for him to come back, just for him to be in the room.
~~~
Agonizingly, I chewed the rubber-like meat that had been put before me. I had protested yet again to eating as I would rather starve to death here than be alive but it was either eat dinner or have someone book you in for the night. So here I am, forced to eat with all the guys who work here since I had "missed" the eating time with the girls. Strangely though, it was as if I wasn't even there. All of the guys talked and ate around me but none of them sat at my table or even acknowledged my existence in the room. It was refreshing not to be touched and prodded over but still, my invisibility made me feel even more alone than I already was.

Scraping the plate with my fork and knife, I cut off another tasteless piece of meat. Just then I noticed Ryder staring at me. A full plate of food lay before him, untouched. His eyes held a fixated stare directly on me. Quickly, I averted my eyes so as to seem that I hadn't noticed. But it was no use as I could feel his eyes burn into the side of my face. The warmth almost felt nice though, as if he was staring at me and trying to sympathize. I turned to look back at him but he was gone. The plate still lay in the exact position on the table but Ryder was nowhere to be seen.
Disappointment washed over me. He was a horrible,yes, but at least he was familiar; without him I was really completely alone.