Inherently Innocent

The Moss Will Grow

"No, no, of course not," Lee cried. She bent over into her own knees, but Thyme didn't let her fall to the ground, "I can't go back. I would only hurt her. I'd hurt everyone. Oh god, I shouldn't be here. I'm going to hurt you."

"Lee, Lee, listen to me. You're safe. You're here," The boy shushed the girl, slowly starting to enumerate the trees around them, or talk about the cold river water. He signaled the ishine to leave, momentaneously touching the grass to silently tell them to call for Aloe.

"I'm going to hurt you," Lee repeated. She frowned at Thyme. This time, it wasn't out of disagreement, it was out of fear. She was afraid of looking at him, of what she could imagine herself doing if she did.

"You're not going to hurt anybody."
"Yes I am! You don't know it, but I've hurt so many people. I've hurt Golshan, Ocarina, so many other nymphs I don't even remember the names of."

Thyme let out an audible ironic laugh.

"Golshan told me everything about it. How Cove, the host, made you help him with the nymphs. I can't blame you for it. It's not your fault."

"Are you braindead? How could it not be?"
"He hurt you, all the time. Like every single nymph in there. You had to do it to survive."

"When our actions are bad, we convince ourselves our motivations are good," Liliac took a deep shaky breath, forcing herself to stop crying. The memory soaked back into the inside. "When our motivations are bad, we convince ourselves our actions are good. I tried to find an excuse to make me good, but I'm not. In reality, I have bad intentions for good deeds. I have selfish intentions for everything. Nobody gives a shit about others if it doesn't benefit them."

"But you're wrong at that," Thyme sat beside Liliac, placing his hand on his leg until she slid her own fingers between his. "Nobody is inherently evil. Being selfish isn't evil. We all live for others, don't we? We can live for ourselves, sure, but the core of our being is interaction. Be it with other humans, be it with the ishine, be it with animals or the earth itself. Reading a book, are you not interacting with the characters and stories apart from the paper and ink? Are you not interacting with the dreams and thoughts of the author? We're made to interact. Being selfish keeps you alive, allows you to coexist with everything you were born to interact with. As long as your selfishness doesn't endanger others, what sin are you committing?"

"But I did endanger others!" Liliac screamed in the quiet silence of a hurting throat.

Thyme thought about an answer for a while.

"But you're alive. And you can use your life to help more people than you hurt. Isn't that good enough?"

The two remained quiet. Liliac looked into the distance, Thyme focused on the grass. Maybe the girl was still thinking of returning to her mother. Thyme added that to his list of things to do when he returned. If he was already missing his father after a few days, he couldn't imagine the pain of a decade.

But he'd find his mother. And Liliac would find a smile. And Juniper would find justice. And they would return, and live. It was all supposed to happen.

The war would end, the nymphs would be safe. Thyme had to believe it because he would do it.

"I hate myself."

"No, you don't," Thyme looked into Liliac's eyes to show he was serious, "You hate Cove Marull. You just have to realize you're not him."

Liliac didn't react. Her face was numb. Yet she laid her head on Thyme's shoulder. And for the first time, he felt she was honest.

"I just wanted to learn how to be useful."

"The greatest thing you can learn is how to love. You can start there."