No Time to Die [H.S]

National Anthem

Play this song when you see **********************

Hi, welcome back loves <3 I'm so excited to share this chapter with you all !! 

*Mentions of Racism and Self-Harm.

*Mentions of SA (Groping &  Sexual harassment)  

GABRIELLA

I'm on a plane.

I honestly can't even fathom everything that led up to this moment.

It's been 2 days since my father advised me about the arranged marriage and for some reason, I still can't wrap my head around it. No matter how hard I've pinched myself, I find myself reliving a nightmare that I'll never wake up from. This whole situation is a giant tangled web of wires that is impossible to be undone. The majority of the time I spent after the news was spent going shopping for a new gown plus accessories for this make-believe ball, I didn't give myself any time to process the entirety of this situation. I promised myself to make a good first impression on the new family, not for my own sake but my father's. I would've done everything in my power to get this family to despise me if this was on my terms.

For now, I'll allow myself to put on a beauty show for them to admire.

It's never been difficult, how many people you'd find in disguise behind a persona only they can differentiate. I've never, nor will ever seek the approval of others, I don't need it. No one should rely on the opinions of people with the task to create misery- yet we find ourselves seeking validation in any form possible. Any validation to replace whatever is already damaged.

Family portraits with my fucking white gown embracing the fabricated smile.

I can be selfish by keeping myself to myself only.

It's my safe haven.

No one tells you about the psychotic side of it all, the moment you can use your words. Having people constantly keeping their hands over your mouth, preventing me from letting them out yet they take them right out of my mouth themselves. No one could hear me.

Inaudible.

They played tag with the ability to take turns keeping me in silence growing up.

Good thing I learned how to bite back, treat me like a dog- I'll act out like one.

Fucking bitches.

My thoughts are abrupted when I feel the familiar gentle touch of Sofia. I turned my head to the right, only to see Sofia wearing an oversized sage green crew neck that swallowed her small figure with some black spandex shorts underneath. She smiles and reaches for my hands.

"How are you feeling sunny? " Sofia says while resting her head on the palm of her hand.

"I've been okay, I'm excited about this " I lied but I made sure to give her a weak smile to cover it.