Bad habits; Jeongchan

But I can't do this alone

They come up with alternatives to their addictions of choice.

Changbin almost dies laughing the next day when instead of a cigarette, Chan comes to the smoking area with a lollipop.

Chan shrugs and tries not to sound too peeved.

"I'm trying to quit smoking."

Nobody, meanwhile, notices the butterflies Jeongin doodles on his skin during class. Chan looks at them in the evening, fingertips shaking as he holds Jeongin's arm.

He's experiencing the withdrawal symptoms Jeongin read out to him. and his fingers itch for a smoke. Internally, he berates himself for making the deal. His head aches.

"How're you feeling?", Jeongin asks.

"I want a cigarette."

Jeongin lets out a little laugh, his whole body tensing up and shaking, quivering against Chan's fingers.

He reaches back and hands Chan a lollipop over the railing.

Chan checks the flavor.

"Green apple?", he asks, wrinkling his nose.

Jeongin giggles again. Chan's lips quirk up involuntarily at the way Jeongin smiles.

"My favorite."

Chan purses his lips, but pops it into his mouth. Artificial flavoring coats his tongue with its sticky sweetness. His craving doesn't subside, but at least he has something to occupy himself with.

-

"Why do you cut?", Chan asks on the third day. Three days without a smoke. He must have been possessed to make this deal.

"Why do you smoke?", Jeongin asks, sitting down on the balcony so that they are on level height. Only the bars and the distance between balconies separates them now.

"To destress", Chan answers.

Jeongin hums, staring up at the sky.

Chan waits.

"I do it for different reasons", Jeongin says after a while,"sometimes, I'm feeling numb, or nothing, and I just want to feel something. Sometimes the pain grounds me. And sometimes"-he lets out a huff of laughter. It's not a laughing matter-"sometimes I'm just bored. And if I'm alone and bored, well, shit happens."

Chan grunts.

"I better not leave you alone then", he says, glancing over.

Jeongin laughs. He has a dimple on one cheek that Chan wants to poke. Just once or twice.

"Smooth Chan, smooth."

Chan bows his head with a snort.

-

Chan has had a long day.

He's tired, sleeping worse than usual, and his headaches plague him.

With a groan, he opens the door to the apartment.

He needs a smoke, he needs a fucking smoke.

Turns out, his parents have had a bad day too.

-

Jeongin looks ready to murder someone when he opens the door. Chan shakes his head.

"I think there's only some bruises."

His head hurts.

Jeongin stares at him, his eyes wide.

"Only", he repeats, drawing out the word.