December 23rd, 2001
I looked straight into the eyes of a girl, that I didn't recognize. I spoke to her, and she mimicked my movements.
"You're fine, girl. Well, you'll be fine, now, but you can't drink anymore. Just go out there, and hang out. No more booze!"
I was talking to my reflection, in the small mirror above the sink. My eyes were bloodshot; my face was pale white; my shoulder-length, brown hair was matted to my face. There was vomit on my chin, and still in the toilet bowl. I flushed, then rinsed my mouth out.
I told myself, one more time, "Seriously, Emily. Don't have another drink. You don't need it. You're drunk!"
I brushed my hair with my fingers, and pulled it back neatly. I took a giant breath, and left the bathroom at my older cousin's house. I found her sitting on the living room floor, with a girl friend of hers. They had CDs spread out all over the floor.
"Emily! Don't you love this song? Sit, sit, sit! Listen!"
I lowered myself, disgracefully, to the floor and plopped next to Erin. She had an apple martini that clung to her hand. Her friend, Judy, had a Budwiser; she was drunk too, but not nearly as plastered as my cousin.
"Don't make the poor girl listen to this crap, Erin!"
"Oh, she doesn't care! This shit rocks; she knows."
"No way. She's too young. It's before her time," Judy said, looking me up and down. "You said this chick is 19? I call bullshit. She's too young and sweet."
I smiled, awkwardly, at what I guessed was a compliment. Erin had lied to her friend about my age. I was only 15, and I looked it.
"She is, too, 19," Erin lied again. "Just got a baby face!"
She grabbed my cheeks, and pulled them toward her face. I think she tried to kiss me, but I giggled uncomfortably, and pulled away at the last second.
"Well let's put something from this generation on!" Judy ran her fingers along the 100s of CDs. "I got it!"
Erin grabbed it from her hand. "This is OUR album!!!"
She put her arm around my shoulder; I got a glimpse of it: P!nk's M!ssundaztood. Erin and I had spent every weekend, this last fall, listening to that CD. Judy grabbed it back, and put it in; she turned it up LOUD.
"Where's your drink?!" Erin screamed above the first track.
I shook my head.
Judy looked at me, "No way! You gatta have a drink!"
I yelled back, "No! I'm ok!"
Judy laughed, "Erin's in no position to make another drink for you. Here," she grabbed one of her beers, and put it in my hand. I tried to take it, but she didn't let go; it pulled her toward me. I let go.
She opened the beer and put it back in my hand, taking a place by my side. I felt nervous, so I took a long chug of the Budwiser.
"Good shit, right?" Judy asked.
I swallowed hard. "Fucking great."
I took another gulp, and joined Erin in belting out the lyrics of the current song.
"...where I can run! Just as fast as I can, to the middle of nowhere. To the middle of my frustrated fears, and I swear.."
I got into the music; Erin turned toward Judy. I danced my way into the kitchen. I wanted another apple drink; I could make it myself. Beer is some nasty tasting stuff.
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Aftershock
RandomEmily has felt like she was an adult since she was 16. That's when she moved out of her parent's house. Actually, it was probably some time before then, that she felt her childhood slipping away. Like, when her mother remarried an alcoholic hot-head...