Ken's Point of viewI woke up with Honesty back in my arms, after a whole month. To say that this feels good is an understatement.
Honesty had a rough night with the baby kicking and stuff, so I got up and get Kj ready for daycare. I signed him up for daycare and he's been going for about three weeks now. Kj loves it, but he hates mornings.
After a lot of crying, threatening, and yelling we finally head out the door. I dropped him off and stopped to get me and Honesty some food.
I finally made it back to the house and got in the house. Honesty was laying on the couch with her feet up watching Martin
"Wassup mamas I brought you Chick fil A," I say as I sat down next to her
she cheesed hard as I sat the food in her lap
She started stuffing her face like it was no tomorrow.
"Where's my baby," she asked pressing pause on the tv
"He is at daycare," I said with a shrug
It was quiet for a minute before she started going off
"You signed my child up for daycare? Without even talking to me? " She yelled and she just started crying
I sigh and hold her tight and just let her cry. Cause this is clearly more than just about Kj going to daycare.
Once she calmed down and sat up I asked her "Now do you want to tell me what that was all just about?"
She sighs and lays back on my chest "Kj doesn't love me anymore. Ever since I came back he just hasn't been the same. Even when we did our just us day he didn't care about me. He was just worried about getting back to you or going with LayLay.I've been there for him for every major step of his life. What if he doesn't want me to be his mama anymore. If I cant take care of him right now how am I going to take care of a little girl? I was wrong for staying away? I just wanted to protect myself. I didn't mean to hurt him in the process " she lets out and began crying again
"I'll talk to him honesty. ok? Honesty look at me. You are a great mother. There aren't enough words in the dictionary to tell you how grateful I am for you, ok. You took King in as yours without anyone even asking you. Hell, you named him. We weren't even together when he came along and you still took him and cared for him, and I will forever be grateful. I don't know what I would've done without your help. I love King so much but to be honest with you I think I would've given up that first week with all that damn crying" I finished as we laughed She laid there for a while before she sat up
"I need to go to my apartment," she said and it felt like the world stopped
"You don't have to go there. This has been your home since before we were together. Please don't leave " she sighed and looked at me
"We need space, Ken. We need to learn from each other and trust each other again. We need to grow apart, so when we come back together it will be magical, just like the first time." She whispered standing up from my lap
what she said really struck a nerve in me and I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt. But I guess she is right. I just need to give her time and that will give me time to fix my shitty life and shitty family.
I kissed her and heading out to the trap
I walked in and everyone was working hard. I walk into Lukas's office to see what's been going on in the trap
After I finish up everything at the trap I go change clothes and go snatch up Kj from Daycare
We got back in the car and went home and played the game
"So son I need to chop it up with you for a minute," I said pausing the game
"I only hit him cause e hit me first," he said quickly
"Nahh that's not it, but we will be talking about that later. It's about mama. Why are you treating her bad. You made her real sad. She thinks you don't love her anymore."
He looked at me for a second before saying "I do. I do love mama but.... but she left for a long time and she didn't say goodbye. You not supposed to leave people you love.she is going to leave me again. And not come back. Next time"
He got up from his seat and came over to me
Tears ready to run at any second. I knew I messed up with Honesty, but I didn't think about King.
"What? King, she not going nowhere ok? And she missed you the whole time she was gon. Who told you that"
"My friend Asia. Asia say when her mommy left she never came back. Now she live with her granny. I no want to live with my granny " he sobbed
I scooped him up and held him while he cried.
I'm "You real smart for your age so I'm going to be honest with you.I messed up King. I did something wrong to yo mama. So she umm.... won't be staying at the house with us for a while. But we can still call her and we can go to her apartment and you have a room over there too."
"But why don't you just say sorry? You always tell me to say sorry" he asks.
"Apologizing doesn't always work King. But still, I was the real reason that she went out of town for a long time and I'm sorry. She still loves you and you can go to Mama's house whenever you want to okay. We are going to work some things out and shell be back here in no time but right now this is how things have to be "I tell him.
And honesty this conversation was needed but very hard. It's like his little brain was just trying to wrap around all the information that I Had just given him.
We played the game and chilled until bedtime.
"Can we call mama" he sighed still upset with the conversation. He hasn't smiled or anything since.
I face-timed her and she picked up on the first ring
Phone Conversation
Hello
Hey Mama I'm bout to go to sleep
Aww ok. well don't forget to pray and I hope you sleep well, papa
Ok, I did and can you come over tomorrow? I want you to cook. I'm tired of pizza and BacDonalds
It's McDonalds. AndOk pappa, what do you want to eat?
umm, I want some Ummm Ummm macaroni and cheese. But I have to go, I am sleepy. Goodnight
goodnight papa
Phone Conversation Over
I cut the light off, turned his tv on, shut his door,and got ready for bed myself
I played the game until I eventually let sleep take over me
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