Find Me After I Leave.

5

Entree

I don't think I understand it anymore, how can I cope? There's not even anything wrong with my life right now. It's just the fact that I'm living, the fact that I'm breathing is a problem yet I don't want to die. Which is torture because what does a human do when they don't want to live but dying isn't even on the table? my mind can't fathom nor process the things I think of. The things that recollect in my mind, my mind can't even understand.

How am I supposed to tell you everything if I don't even know my damn self? how are you supposed to get to know me? it's not fair to you, it's not fair to me. It hasn't been fair to me for years.

I've been living not being able to know myself, doesn't give me a chance to find and love myself again I don't even remember the last time I loved myself, I don't even remember the last time I looked at myself and felt like I deserve to breathe. A part of me feels like I was born this way, or my mind just sees happiness as torture because my whole life has been a shit show, but I never want pity I just wanna explain, I just want someone to listen and you've been that.

You've been that someone that listens and always says the right thing somehow which makes you so much more mysterious than I could ever be.

I ﾚの√乇 you-

as a friend of course.