as fragile as a dandelion

a whisper

Two's POV

I whispered into August's ear as he laid motionless, his chest barely rising every so often. Monica said she thought he could hear us, despite him being unconscious, so I hadn't stopped talking to him. I hadn't slept or eaten in days, never leaving August's side. He looked small, frail, and pale compared to his usual broad shouldered, tan, confident self. It hurt me to see him like this, dejected, like he had already given up.

My mind kept going back the note he left 'Live for me'.

What is that supposed to mean August? Were you really going to leave me? I have no one. Brian and Cam have each other, the guys have each other, I'm alone. You can't leave me. Not now. Maybe it's selfish of me but I can't handle this without you. What if he comes back?

Images popped back into my head of the rape, the abuse, the hell, that I had endured. I had survived it all. For him. I was carrying my rapist's baby. Oh god... I was carrying his baby...

I sobbed into August's arm, wrapping it around my shoulders, trying to feel the comfort I always felt with him. But his body was limp, lacking it's usual warmth and home feeling. I cried harder.

"You know August? You made me feel loved. I didn't know what that felt like before you. Can you believe that? I spent 17 years of my life never feeling an ounce of love." I let out a short, sharp, humorless laugh. "I thought I knew love once. I'll never make that mistake again..."

I took a deep breath, wondering if he could hear me. I decided to tell him, even if he couldn't hear me, I had to get it off my chest. "One time, when I was about 15, it was on the anniversary of my mom's death. Rick had started drinking a lot more. A lot. He had rage fits when he would throw me down the stairs or into a wall, or punch and kick me, anything that could take out his pent up anger. I don't know why it had to be me. Why I had to be the punching bag. Maybe I looked too much like her, I have no idea. One day I walked into his office to tell him I had made dinner for him, and he had been drinking a lot more than usual. There were empty liquor bottles scattered on the table, and he was sitting at his desk with droopy eyes and the shades drawn. It smelled like body odor, cigarettes, and stale breath. I can still remember the look on his face as he lifted his head to stare at me. I thought it was love, that look. I had never seen it before. I was wrong. So wrong."

I sobbed again, hiccuping as I pictured his dark eyes full of storm clouds and the brown glass bottle in his hand. "It was pure hatred August. He hates me. Oh god, he hates me. Why? Why..."

After I calmed down a bit I continued. "He screamed at me, saying my moms death was my fault and that I was a piece of shit and a slut and I could never be loved. I believed every word, and sometimes I still do. I shouldn't but I do. He's my dad, you know? He was supposed to be my protector, my role model... He was supposed to take prom pictures with me, comfort me when I cried, threaten my exes, walk me down the goddamn aisle at my wedding. But no. He chose to despise me instead. He chose to ruin my life. As he started getting more agitated that day, I realized something was wrong and ran to leave the room. He called me back and I thought he was gonna apologize. Ha! Silly me. As I turned around to him, he threw the bottle in his hand with his full strength. I wasn't expecting it. I didn't manage to duck. It smashed into the side of my face and head, the shards giving me this scar."

I lifted up his limp hand and ran his index finger down the scar that started on my right eyebrow, snaking underneath my temple, on the edge of my eye socket, and continuing all the way down, connecting with the crease between my top and bottom lip. "I was in a coma for 3 months August, I almost died of blood loss, sitting in a cold cell in the basement of the warehouse. I used to wish I had died. No one would have cared. I would have been at peace, with no more pain. Oh the pain I suffered after that... I had migraines, I couldn't move without getting dizzy, I started having these seizures. No one cared. My dad let his men... take advantage of me... when I was in and out of consciousness. Everything got so much worse. I wish you could've been there August, you could've protected me, like you always do."

I snuggled my face into the side of his chest, and I swear I could've felt his arm tighten around me. "You deserve better August. Someone who isn't broken like me, someone strong like you. Someone who isn't dirty and disgusting and weak. I'll go August. I'll live for you. I just need to know you're okay. I need to know you'll find someone better. You have to wake up August. Your fight isn't over yet. Not even close. You have so much ahead of you."

I breathed in his scent and a single tear slipped onto my cheek as I realized this was the last time I would ever see him. The last time I would breathe in the mixture of car oil, cigarettes, and woody cologne. I stared intently at his face, imprinting it into my mind. My eyes trailed down the faint worry lines on his forehead, to his long black lashes, to his slightly crooked nose with oxygen tubes, to his full lips, with a scar on the right side. I lightly touched the stubble on his chin and jawline, the rough hairs leaving tiny red marks on the tips of my fingers. I moved his curly black hair back off his forehead, trailing my fingers through it one last time. I slowly and softly pressed my lips against the corner of his mouth, relishing in the feeling.

"I will always love you, August Wyatt. No matter how far I am. I will always be with you." I whispered, my lips almost touching his ear.

As I stood up, I took one final long look at the love of my life, and turned towards the door.

Little did I know that if I had glanced back, I would've seen tears slipping down his pale cheeks, as he had heard every single word.

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Author's Note
I'm back from a short posting break. This chapter genuinely brought tears to my eyes as I was writing it. Some people may be angry about Two leaving, but I think it was incredibly brave and strong of her. What do you guys think? Do you think Two will be able to survive and figure things out by herself? Thank you all for your reads and support.
See you in the next chapter!