When You Think You're Sinning

Part 2

A/N - first and foremost, another massive thank you to @BuckyBabyBoy on Twitter for all their help, for letting me throw horny ideas at them, as well as helping me develop some of the small ideas I threw around into bigger ones to explore. I genuinely can never thank them enough for everything they've done for this fic. I will probably say thank you every chapter because they deserve it.

Secondly, Like I said in the chapter summary, we do get into the religious guilt more, so please be aware. This is a consistent theme through the rest of the parts, so please please choose what's safe for your own mental health.

Thirdly, please let me know what you think, but be gentle. This fic really does channel a lot of my own experience with religious guilt and my own views on religion and spirituality into it. This is probably the most of myself I've poured into a fic, and I really feel like I'm putting my heart on display, so if you have something negative to say, just don't. (Constructive criticism is fine, but please be aware of how you word it)

Also, sorry for the Mario hate in this one. I don't know why but I genuinely dislike him, do not question me on why because like it's stated in this, there is no concrete answer 😂😂

Anyway, like always, you aren't here to read my ramblings, so please enjoy

Eijiro's eyes flew open as his alarm screeched to life, a groan leaving his mouth as he moved to turn off his alarm. He grinned at the aches and pains his body revealed as he moved, content in the fact that last night had actually happened and wasn't just some intensely vivid sex dream. Wait, last night actually happened, which meant he had sex with a demon. Immediately his body reacted, emotions bubbling and thoughts racing, leaving him reeling as he tried to process everything.

He wasn't even sure how he had landed himself in this situation. The questions swirled in his mind, as he forced himself to move and get ready for the day. How had he even ended up in that office? Why had he agreed so willingly to have sex with a demon? He hadn't even really hesitated. Why did Katsuki even want anything to do with him? Did demons being real make what he had been taught in church true? Did that mean he was going to go to Hell? He supposed as long as Katsuki was there, it couldn't be that bad.

His entire life had been a rollercoaster of accepting himself and hating himself. Anytime he thought he was confident in who he was, in who he loved, a memory, a whispered thought, would come to him and knock him back to the bottom. He hated the darkness that filled his mind when his confidence crumbled. There were so many years of his life that he had convinced himself so completely that his sexuality was something completely different than what it was. That sure he found men attractive, but he didn't want to be in a relationship with one. Or yeah, maybe his eyes lingered on a man in the pornographic video he was watching, but he was just observing him.

Even now, he finally felt comfortable in who he was sexually, his friends knew, and he'd started to actually attempt to date men, but as soon as he was around his family, or alone with his thoughts for too long, doubts started to creep in. His whole life he'd been told it was wrong, and even though he didn't believe it was, the dark parts of his brain used those words as weapons against him.

Eijiro spent the morning getting his apartment ready for when Denki, Sero, Mina and Tetsu got there, stewing in his inner turmoil and letting his emotions consume him. By the time his friends shoved their way into his apartment, his anxiety was high and the guilt he thought he had started to move past, seemed to sink it's claws into him again, pulling him back down to the depths he desperately wanted to escape. Yet, he plastered a smile on his face, and joined his friends in their laughter.

"No, no, but what I'm saying is, that like Mario is actually the worst character in Super Mario brothers." Denki insisted, his hands almost smacking Sero and Tetsu in the face as he gestured broadly from his spot sandwiched between the two other men.