𝐵𝐴𝑅𝐵𝐼𝐸, 𝗺𝗶𝗱𝟵𝟬𝘀

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲.

𝕨𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 - 𝕙𝕚𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕖

☺︎︎

you know that feeling you get the morning of a school day? when you first step outside to catch the bus, and the air is more crisp than normal, the sky is so much more vibrant, you feel like you can breathe, and everything is still. so still not in an unsettling way, but in a calming way that brings you total and utter peace. as though the earth had taken a break and slowed down just to gift you this moment.

that's exactly how jeslyn felt when she'd heard what fuckshit said. a bit dramatic of a way to explain it, maybe, but it was the truth. as if everything had slowed down, as though time had stopped, all her doubts fell to the back of her mind when fuckshit spoke.

he liked her. actually, truly liked her.

"please say something." fuckshit said, wide-eyed as he stared up at the first girl he'd ever actually given a shit about, who stood inches away from him looking like a deer in headlights.

"uh, shit. sorry." jeslyn managed to stutter.

say it back. say it, say it, sayitsayitsayitsayit.

and by some miracle, she actually did.

"i like you too, fuckshit."

and suddenly, fuckshit felt the same way.

"i think this is the part where we kiss." fuckshit said, smirking up at jeslyn.

fuck.

here's the thing, jeslyn was pretty fucking innocent to any person her age, but she wasn't a prude.

she had her first kiss in seventh grade, with a boy that was dared by his friends to kiss her behind the porta potties after class. it was anything but romantic, and lasted a total of .5 seconds, but it counted as far as jeslyn was concerned. her second kiss came the summer before her freshman year of high school at her first party. she'd drank more than all of her friends (which, she didn't have many of) combined, being in the early stages of her substance abuse problems. she vaguely remembered, but had been told stories of, her making out with some senior boy from another school in the bathroom.

there were a few more boys, and a couple girls since then, but none that she actually liked, and most when she was under the influence.

and sadly, she was stone cold fucking sober and had just told fuckshit she liked him.

before she could overthink any further, fuckshit had his hand on her cheek and the other one on her side, pulling her toward him. and once again, all of her worries sorta just, disappeared, and then they were kissing.

fuckshit couldn't remember ever being so nervous to kiss a girl.

he's kissed so many, but none of them felt like this. felt right. he hoped he wasn't moving too fast, wasn't pressuring her into anything. wondered for the millionth time how barbie made him feel like this. prayed. prayed to any fucking god that he wouldn't fuck this up, and he knew. he knew that she could break his heart, shatter it into a thousand pieces, and he'd let her. knew this could all end in heartbreak, turn into a huge mess, was terrified of being hurt, of being so vulnerable, but he was gonna do it anyways. and he was gonna do his best to do it all fucking right.

after what felt like years, the best years, but was only really about a minute, the two teenagers pulled apart to catch their breath and reevaluate.

"i hope you know this means you're mine now." fuckshit said just seconds after they'd parted.

even if he was shitting his pants with nerves, fuckshit always had something to say.

jeslyn, however, did not.

and so, in all of her jeslyn fashion, she simply responded, "okay." ending with a small smile and those fucking dimples fuckshit adored.

☺︎︎

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. i'm sorry i took soooo fucking long and i'm sorry this is so short but this book ISN'T OVER. i promise i will get back on my shit and a new update will be out soon, LMFAO I KNOW I SAID THAT BEFORE TOO BUT I PROMISE!! i love y'all so much thank u for 14k FUCKING READS!?!?