I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.
It had been seven days. Seven days since his father had took him there. Saying he couldn't help him anymore that he was done watching his son slowly killing himself. Kurt had begged his father not to leave him there. He had been cutting himself since he was just a child. He no longer saw it as a problem. More of a coping skill. Being gay in Lima , Ohio wasn't easy. He couldn't walk outside without being reminded what a freak he was. At first he thought that it would get better in high school but it only got worse. People got worse. Some avoided him like he was a zombie who could infect them. Like being gay was air born.
Kurt got so afraid of going out there that he stopped going out there. He had a friend once. Kitty Wilde she was a christian however she was also in the closet. That was why they were friends. She knew what it felt like to like someone and know you can never call them yours. Since they were young she had a crush on this girl Marley Rose. When Kurt met Kitty she was chubby had glasses, braces and walked with her head down. But before freshman year she lost a lot of weight ,got contacts. She became head cheerleader. Started dated the quarterback Finn Hudson. Became a cliche blond bombshell. When Kurt tried to talk to her she told him that she a good reputation to maintain and couldn't be caught talking to the faggot kid at school. She said she moved on from being a loser and that if he stopped being such a fag he could too. He never tried to talk to her again.
Needless to say high school was worse than what he thought it would have been. He only made it through the day with the knowledge that he would get home lie to his dad about how his day went go upstairs where the shinny blades he kept in a box inside his closet would be waiting. He would get his things ready to shower pick out a blade based on how bad his day had been lock the bathroom door and begin to cry. He wouldn't cry everyday. But when he did he turned his music on loud so his dad wouldn't hear. When he's done crying he strips naked and gets into the shower. He brings the blade with him. He brings the blade across his chest sometimes his legs but never his wrist that would be too noticeable. He wouldn't want to explain that to his dad. Then he'd step out of the shower dry himself off clean up the blood and put on a happy face for his dad. He would lie all day to his dad that he was fine. That he would be okay. Even though he knew he wouldn't be.
That routine went on for years. He was 16 now. Junior in high school. He maintained his 4.0 GPA only problem at school he had was having to change in the nurses office. The other boys wouldn't change around him and they wouldn't let him change with the other girls. No matter what he was doing he felt like a freak.
"Kurt snap out of it." A very angry Mr. Smith was looking at him for spacing out again.
" Sorry Dr. Smith."
Dr. Smith was staff at the hospital. He had been working there for 5 years. He had a very welcoming face and was often very nice to Kurt. Kurt couldn't help it though he didn't wanna be there. He didn't think he needed to be there. He didn't have a problem. Cutting to him was just a way of coping it wasn't something he needed to do rather something he chose to do. He could stop whenever he wanted to. He just didn't want to.
But his dad was fed up with Kurt's constant mood swings. His dad had told him how much he loved him and how much it hurt to see him hurt himself.
" Kurt this will be a good thing you're gonna get help. You're gonna be around teenagers your age with the same kind of problems and it's not for that long." Burt calmly tried to explain to his son all the positive things about being hospitalized.
"MY KIND OF PROBLEMS?" " PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS I HAVE." Kurt was screaming at his dad looking back he could see he was being completely unreasonable.
Kurt and his father fought for awhile until his father finally decided that weather or not Kurt liked it he was going.
So here he was. A week into his hospitalization. He refused to talk to anyone and refused any help. He was yet to talk in groups or to any therapist one on one. Kurt didn't think it was natural to talk to someone about your problems he had never been that type of person. He preferred to deal with things on his own. It was getting to the point where doctors were considering just letting him go. You can't help someone who doesn't accept it.
As Dr.Smith entered the room with Burt Hummel already knew what they would say. That didn't mean he wasn't going to try.
"So what you're saying is ya cant help my boy why the hell not?!" A very pissed off Burt Hunmel spat trying his hardest not to raise his voice.
Mr. Smith began to speak to in the same tone he used with the patients who had anger issues "You see we believe there is nothing else we can do for Kurt beside maintain his safety. He refused treatment, is uncooperative with all members of our safe , we can't even get him to pay attention during group."
"So what? I take him home and wait for my kid to off himself?" Burt looked down at the floor. He failed his son, he was his father and he couldn't even make him happy anymore.
"Insurance will still cover another full month. I suggest we keep him here even with no progress it's better to know he's safe." Doctor Smith couldn't help but feel somehow responsible for not being able to help Kurt. He had tried everything he could think to get through to Kurt. Doctor Smith was running out of ideas.
After Mr.Hummel left his office to the main lobby for visiting hours Nurse Nacy knocked on his office door.
"Doctor Smith we have a new patient... but this one is... he's really bad." Nacy flinched as she thought back to the brief moments she had seen the cuts.
"What on Earth does that mean Nacy all the patients who come here are 'bad'. The look on Nacys face made him uneasy.
"Sebastian let me be blunt. This boy has cuts that are glued together a couple of then stitched they aren't even cuts more like pieces of his skin missing. Its horrible. Most of them are bandaged up but the ones i saw... it's no wonder he's wearing a long sleeve. Where do you want to put him?" Nacy couldnt afford to keep thinking about that poor boy. He reminded her too much of her fourteen year old son.
Sebastian thought very carefully. Some of the other patients couldn't deal with blood others couldnt deal with a roommate...
After thinking through all the possibilities he finally spoke.
"Room him with Kurt."
"Sorry Sir i dont think i heard you correctly" Nacy was dumbfounded. He wanted to put the only two gay boys in a room together?
"You heard me. Room the new boy with Kurt. I know what you're thinking and I hold no interest in hearing your opinion. Now what is the new patients name?"
Knowing when not to push an argument with Sebastian Smith she cleared her throat and spoke in her professional tone, "Blaine Anderson"
