"...attending this mission will be Agent Romanoff, Stark, Captain, Clint, Bruce, and Barnes," Fury finishes before walking out of the room.
So basically all of the original Avengers. But also Bucky? He's pretty much as new as me to the team, he's been here less time than I have. I guess they just needed his skill set more than mine.
Without using my powers I'm basically just another agent trained in combat. But I do have really fast reflexes, maybe that's just not enough anymore. Whatever it was that kept me off the mission, it's making me feel really small and insecure. Everyone was going except for me.
Steve and Bucky walk with me out of the room, smiling. "What's wrong, Doll?" Bucky asks.
"Everyone else is going except for me. I guess without my powers I'm just kind of...nothing. I don't know, it just makes me feel a little unwanted," I admit, quietly.
"Hey, Adrian-what's wrong?" Steve asks, joining in the conversation.
"Why am I the only one not going on the mission, Steve?" I ask suddenly.
"Your skill set isn't really needed for this," Steve says, not realizing it would hurt my feelings, but Bucky did because he was there for our previous discussion.
"O-okay," I say going into my room. I'll just read for a bit to get my mind off of things.
I start reading but really I just want to cry. Why? I'm so much stronger than this! I was a Hydra Agent for gods sake! I shouldn't want to cry iver getting my feelings hurt.
But it did hurt. The feeling of not being needed when everyone around you is. It makes me feel like I'm just apart of the team because I saved Tony at that party and that I'm Steve's friend, not because I could actually be of use to them. It wouldn't surprise me of Tony just kept me around for entertainment.
Maybe they just haven't found the right place for me in the group yet, what missions I'm better in. That's probably it. Or the fact that I'm not as strong as the others, though I'm my opion I think I'm much more brave, but I guess I don't have the body to support that so it's useless. I'm useless.
Before I know it, the tears are falling down my face and I can't make them stop even though this is so stupid. I shouldn't be crying over this crap but here I am, crying alone in my dark bedroom at 8pm on a Friday night. Has my life really gone this downhill?
I get up and stop feeling sorry for myself. I try to rack my brain to think of anything better I could be doing. Just as I was doing so, someone knocks on my bedroom doors.
"I'm not in here!" I shout, as another tear falls down my cheek without my permission to do so. I angrily while it away.
"It's just me, Doll," Bucky says on the other end of my door. "Can I come in?" his voice sounds gentle. I've never actually heard it that soft before.
"I said, I'm not in here, Barnes. Which means, go the fuck away!" I shout but Bucky just walks in away. "What the hell?!" I exclaim, as I quickly while my eyes. Bucky walks in and shuts the door behind him.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong! Why does everyone keep asking me that?!" I shout, annoyed.
"Adrian, what's wrong?" he asks again, his voice picking up. Persistent, this one.
"I'm a drag on the team, Barnes. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong here. You all have all of these special things about you and you're such great fighters and you guy's are basically gods and I'm just...not," I explain, tiredly.
"That's not true. You belong on this team, Adrian. Your the best fighter I've ever layer eyes on. And even if those other jackasses don't see it, you're special to me, Adrian. And to Steve," Bucky admits.
"I'm sorry for yelling," I say in defeat, letting his words wash over me, ripping me from my bad mood to a calmer one.
"I'm sorry for barging in," he says, opening my door and walking back out of it, shutting it behind him.
I'm still so confused about me and Bucky. Ever since that kiss by the pool room, neither of us have said anything about it. I guess it's just easier to ignore it, knowing that it could never work out anyway.
We're both too different. Or maybe, we're both too similar for it to work. Hydra has really messed both of us up and it's probably not healthy to be in a relationship with someone who isn't emotionally available enough to support you when you're falling apart inside. That goes both as for us. Maybe, just maybe, for now, it's better that we just stay friends.
YOU ARE READING
To Be Wanted - Avengers fanfic
Fanfiction"I wanted a life, just not the one I chose." Adrian is a criminal, wanted in several countries. But she isn't just your average terrorist, she was born with gift and some might say, a curse. After her partner died, Adrian tried to make a better life...
