Daddy Issues

I'm A Mess

I felt a light mist on my face as I walked outside of a fancy uptown apartment

I walked through the city streets with mascara running down my face like a river because of the rain but mainly because I was crying

I felt so sad, my heart was in pain, and I felt empty

All sense of reality was lost, I didn't even bother to know what time it was, I mean what's the point ?

I walked all the way from uptown to downtown Manhattan, I could feel blisters forming on the heel of my feet. My heels felt like they were stabbing me but I deserve this don't I ? 

She didn't care that she was walking around the city at 3am with ripped stocking, a tiny plaid mini skirt and white halter top with no bra

She ignored every comment thrown at her

"Hey baby emma make you mine tonight "a creepy and crazy eyed man yelled at me  as I walked by

"Fuck off you cunt"(I couldn't deal with this tonight)

I would usually flirt back with the men that holler at me and I always left them wanting more

Lyla was a strong girl, she looked innocent and sweet with her mesmerizing hazel green doll like eyes and long dirty blonde hair but she didn't take shit from anyone

She liked to use her charm to seduce older men, she acted so innocent and childish when she was in public with her daddy

My phone suddenly rang causing me to exist my trance and deep thoughts of the event that took place hours ago

Come on, you know you like good little girls, you can be my daddy , a Lana del Rey ringtone echoed out the phone 

She picked it up after the second ring

"Lyla I'm going to leave the keys under the rug, see you in the morning"

And with that her sleepy roommate hung up the phone

Julia knew about Lyla and her daddies, but that's all she knew because Lyla would never tell her the whole story of who she was and why

After walking for countless miles I no longer felt the pain in my feet I walked into my residence hall and swiped my ID to get on the elevator to the 5th floor

I waited patiently for the elevator to arrive so I could get in and finally the bell that always manages to startle me rang I walked in and pressed the button for the 5th floor

It suddenly stopped on the second floor and two girls and four guys came in, they all looked at me as if I was dirt, I wouldn't blame them, I was truly a mess

One of the guys that looked like he had the IQ of a fish looked at my tits that could be seen through my shirt because It was soaking wet just like the rest of my clothes

I looked right at him and stuck up my middle finger and he looked away

A girl whispered "slutty whore" but I didn't even bother to say anything because I just don't care anymore

I looked at my reflection in the chrome material of the elevator and saw how all my mascara had run down to my cheeks

Suddenly the elevator stopped and I got off and headed to my room 514 with whistling sounds following behind

I entered the room and there I saw my roommate sleeping peacefully

That night I went to bed just like that, I didn't bother to go through my nightly cleansing routine instead I laid down on her bed and cried myself to sleep

A few hours later I woke up before her roommate Julia found me looking like hell

I stood up from my tiny twin size bed and I felt like I couldn't stand up, my legs were giving up on me, but I walked to the bathroom anyway

I walked past the mirror in the bathroom not bothering to look at my reflection knowing that I looked horrible

I got into the shower and turned the knob and adjusted it to a nice warm temperature

I closed my eyes and felt the droplets on my skin just like the rain from last night

I loved the rain it made me feel like everything gets washed away and I can start over

I took my loofah sponge and poured some sweet smelling strawberry body wash on it and lathered my body with it all over

I then proceeded to shampoo my hair with the same soap, I love to smell like sweet strawberries and my daddy loves my signature scent as well

I finished my long and calming shower and stepped out and wrapped a white towel over my body and walked to the mirror where I could finally see a recognizable reflection and smiled

"Lyla is that you " Julia spoke with a raspy sleepy voice

"Yea I'm here I'm just brushing my teeth" I spoke softly

After I finished Julia went into the bathroom as I went to our closet to choose my outfit for today

We didn't have class today so we decided to go out for brunch at a nearby cafe

I found my favorite halter top that had the words stay weird printed on it and some high waited shorts, I didn't try too much with my outfit I was too tired and I needed to be comfortable

I slipped on my clothes and didn't bother to wear a bra and put on my white Nike high tops

I laid on the bed waiting for Julia to get ready I stared at the celling in deep thought but them Julia interrupted

"So how is it going with your daddy?"

"He's okay I guess"

"You still trying to find the right one ???"

"Yea, my daddy right now is such a cunt, his wife caught him buying a new phone for me so he said we shouldn't see each other for a while"

 I lied to her that's not what really happen I was just upset about what really happened and didn't want her to worry

"Aww sorry babe, but he can't handle you anyway he's too soft for you .............."

I had stopped listening to Julia and went into deep thought again, an old memory popped into my head

Flashback

"Daddy don't go please , why don't you love me ,why don't you love me and mom?!!! " I cried out to my dad sobbing uncontrollably

I was six when my dad left me and my mother for his French secretary or should I say whore

I could never have a relationship with any guy I liked during my high school years because I just wanted a daddy to take care of me and none of those immature little boys could give me that

I would lust after male teachers in my school and I almost got with one but he wouldn't give in because he was married and afraid to lose his job

now that I'm 18 and a freshmen in college I can get all the older men I want it's only been 3 months into the semester and I hooked up with my photography professor

We never went all the way though because I wouldn't let him he started to irritate me so I let him go because he was going to start to make things obvious and get fired

"Hey Lyla are you listening" Julia said

Ohhh ugh yea (I snapped out of my dazed and focused on Julia)

"You ready to go?"

"Yea" we left our dorm room and I closed the door behind us

I hope you guys like it so far I know its a slow development but I promise epicness - Craicmikey