Call Me Patty

Raising a family

When Angela was ten months old, I was pregnant with Bobbi. When we were thinking of names, we were certain it was going to be a boy, and we would name the baby after Bob, no names for girls. Surprise! it's a girl, so Bobbi it is, she didn't like her name as a kid, now that she's an adult she does. I always thought it was a good name, it suits her, she's got her father's genius mind. The next one we were ready for a girl or boy,then Jennifer was born followed by Heather, by then I was not going to try for a boy, we were done having babies. According to Angela, Heather was the most spoiled. Heather would say Angela was bossy, and being the first born she was. I loved being a mom, with every child I got better at improvising.

So Bob lived with a house full of females, he was not the least bit intimidated, in fact he loved it. Whenever I would send him to the store for female product's he had no issues with that, he would walk out of the store with a big box under his arm, no bag, the girls would be so embarrassed, not him, he would say they weren't for him so no big deal. We had four teenagers at one time, Bob became an expert on female issues. Sometimes I would feel bad for him, because it seemed like it was the girls, myself included, against him. He knew when to back off and make himself scarce. I loved spending time with my girls when they were teenagers, some days it may have been challenging but most of the time we had a lot of fun together. Heather was always making me laugh, she has such a good sense of humor and was always being silly. When we would go the grocery store, Jennifer and Heather were always doing something to make me laugh we were not always quiet either, there was one time when a woman came up to me and said " it was nice to see a mother getting along so well with her daughter's, it was obvious that we had a lot of fun together." I smiled and said yes we do and thank you. That made me feel good.

There was one thing that really bothered them was when young children would stop and stare at me. Their first reaction was " hey what are you staring at" they knew not to say that, that was not how they were raised, but they would be staring back at them and giving them the stink eye. They are just children, and curious. It's not their fault, the parents need to be more aware and set the right example. It's because of my disability that my girls have learned to be sensitive to the needs of others, and when they see someone struggling they will offer to help if they can. I love that about them.

I had the reputation of being a clean freak in my family, as you already know this was true, mom would visit and look around and say " you must have dust somewhere, there's probably dust under your bed." Nope, no dust there either.

My favorite thing to do was clean, I say was, because I am not able to keep my house as clean as I would like it. As my ability to clean became harder , my standards went down too. It's presentable, just ignore the dust. I love to make things for the house, every time I start a sentence with "I've been thinking " Bob says it sounds like it is going to cost him money,most of the time he was right, not always. My most favorite thing to do is  make things from whatever we have laying around. To repurpose something is so satisfying. Being creative is my way of coping and keeping my mind busy keeps me sane.

My story is just one of many who are disabled and dealing with prejudices and attitudes that are not always easily detected unless you live it. Sometimes we are not aware of it. As I was writing this I suddenly realized, I do that, that look of pity, saying I'm sorry. It's because we don't know what else to say. Many people don't know what it feels like to encounter obstacles that get in the way of doing tasks that were easy at one time. I enjoy baking, now it's almost a chore, that may be a blessing in disguise though. Baking now is bonding time with my granddaughter. There's a positive to every negative.

I wanted to tell my story of growing up with a disability surrounded by others who are not, with all the challenges that go along with that. Polio was an epidemic at one time, crippling children and adults, many losing their life, because of the vaccine we don't hear about polio anymore. I don't know how close I came to dying, I just know I was in critical condition and left me with residual polio. If we lived in an area where the vaccine was readily available my story could have been completely different. So now I will say thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope it has helped you understand more fully what disabled people encounter in their lives. Also those who are disabled know you are not alone in your struggles to get just through your day. I can say I am blessed with a husband who has and will try to make things easier for me. The task of making the bed has become almost impossible for me, he gets up every morning and makes it because he knows that's what I like. He has become a pro at it, it's almost as good as mine used to be. My two girls Angela and Heather help me with chores around the house and my good friends are there to always give me words of encouragement. So I will say thank you for listening and please you can call me Patty.