~ thought #2 ~
So I always see things or posts that say "I want to be your everything" or "I want to be the only person you think about" or "I need you" or "I can't live without you". Things like that.
Personally I don't want to be that person. I don't like the whole idea of needing some one. I don't like depending on people for things such as my happiness and sanity. I don't ever want to be in a romantic relationship where I will feel like I can't live without them. I don't want to be in a relationship where we're each others crutches. I want a relationship where I'm with them because I want to and because it's good for both of us.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that there are some relationships where the bond is so strong that it feels that way. Sometimes your other "half" means so much to you because they are there for you. They support you and have helped you through so much. There is nothing wrong with that because you both do each other good.
I don't know how you can be in love with somebody so much that you feel like you can't go on. That you need them to survive. Or to think that they are the only ones capable of saving you.
So this is just me, but..
I DON'T NEED SAVING. I CAN SAVE MYSELF.
I won't die if I break up with a person. I will get back up and realise that no matter what, I have to keep going. I'm not saying that it won't hurt me because I know that sometimes the pain is unbearable. Trust me I know.
I don't ever want to put myself in that position. I don't ever want to get that close to somebody. It might be because, yeah I'm scared. Scared of hurting and being hurt.
My family says that all men are the same.
I hate that they generalize.
That is another thing. I don't want to be in a relationship where the other person will feel that way towards me. I have a fear that I will hurt them. Not all relationships last forever. I have this thing in the back of my mind telling me not to let people get too attached to me or to get too attached. I don't know why. I will NEVER intentionally try to hurt somebody whether it is physically or emotionally. ESPECIALLY NOT THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.
But I don't know.
There is also the thing that "Am I always on your mind?" First of all I mean.. come on.. no. There are other things that go on in your mind. Different things you think about. You can be constantly thinking about a person but not always. For example if I'm just with my friends I can be thinking about my partner but they won't be the only thing on my mind. And Vice-versa.
I mean people could be exaggerating about that but still.. just saying
Lastly, the whole idea of wanting to be somebody's world, how?
Me for example, I don't want to be everything to someone. I want them to know that although I might love them I appreciate my space. That I am fine being at least one important person in their life. To know that I'm loved and care for is all I want. I do not need them to constantly be with me to prove it.
I would also not make you like choose between me and your family or friends. I mean you've known them longer and are a huge part of your life. I would never want to be the reason for a fall out between you and them. If I know I'm causing conflict I will move aside because you deserve to be with people who know you better, love you and who have always been there for you. Not some lover in a relationship which you think is stable.
Anyways those are just my view points. I understand there are people who feel differently towards this subject. I do not expect everybody to agree with me. But these are just my thoughts.
I do not want to be a person's one and only.
"I know I'm not your only but at least I'm one. I've heard a little love is better than none."
I'm not everything to you but I am someone to you. I am perfectly content knowing that I'm loved. I do not need the huge gestures. The smallest things count the most.
