Mikey and the Chickadee

Chapter 13 - Part 2

For an instant I shook internally with alarm. "You haven't even met him, Marie."

"No, but I know you pretty well, Wyatt. You don't act this way for just anybody. You've slept with a few guys since your last relationship and none of them had you waiting by your phone—or seeing their face in a crowd when they aren't actually there. You're acting like a crazy person, and I like it."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I hate you," I said. "I fucking hate all of this."

She laughed along with me. "Why? I want to be you right now. I want someone to make me feel that way."

"Really?" I asked. "You want to start falling for someone just as you're moving away? That sounds appealing to you?"

She quieted down, still smiling and poking at a submerged ice cube with her finger. "Maybe. It could be. Anyway, it's better than what I have going on right now, which is nothing."

"Alright, if you're sure about that."

"I am."

"So," I announced. "I come to you seeking your advice. I will hear it, no matter what it is. How do you think I should proceed, given that I am leaving town at the end of the month?"

"I think you should forget that you're leaving, as far as he is concerned."

"What? Seriously?"

"Yes," she said. "Just do it all. Live it all. If you're dying to fall for him, then let yourself."

"Honestly, that sounds reckless to me."

She nodded, smiling.

"If either of us—or maybe both of us—is really going to get hurt at the end, I'm worried I couldn't handle it. I'm worried it might keep me from leaving."

"Isn't that the point?" she asked. "Your job has all the control over where your life is going. Your employer, I should say. I don't think that's healthy. Let this boy situation have some of that control. Let it have all of its weapons. Then they can do battle with one another properly. At the end you'll find out which one prevails, and you can know in your mind that each had a fair shot."

I stared at her for a moment and then took another drink. "It just sounds so reckless," I repeated.

She continued to smile at me.

"There's no mindfulness involved. It's like setting up all the conditions for a science experiment, and then letting it run its course. That's how you're making it sound. Is that all life is? Just a set of experiments?"

"Yes, Wyatt, it is."

I rolled my eyes. "That sounds like something from a movie."

"Obviously I don't live like that all the time, but sometimes I do, with some aspects of my life. I'm saying to you that you should, right now, based on everything that's going on with you."

I paused. "I don't know if I can."

"Just try. That's my advice, okay?"

I nodded. "I asked. And I said I would hear you."

"You did."

We didn't say anything for a moment, just sipped silently on our drinks until hers was gone and mine dwindled.

"Are we alcoholics?" she finally asked.

"Yes," I assured her. "Damn it, Marie, one problem at a time."

Our discussion eagerly shed its grave colors as it marched on into dinner. Marie shared with me leftovers from her refrigerator. I left just as the sky grew completely dark, thanking her for everything and promising that we would meet again soon.