𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄 | SANO SHINICHIRO

1 | 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓

I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH THE GUILT
and regret that I've never heard you out. It's been 5 years since you got killed, and every single day of my life, I've never forgotten about you.

Why?

Just why?

You decided to enter my life just for you to leave me in the end? I hate
you- no. I hate that I don't hate you one bit.

Why do I need to remember you in every little things that I do? I'm trying so hard here you know. I'm trying so hard to forget that you even existed.

My eyes watered before staring at the picture of me and my deceased boyfriend: Sano Shinichiro. He's the only man I've ever love, but he disappeared too early.

"I hate you."

I grumbled under my breath before falling asleep in my cold and lonely bed.

Or so I thought. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the most strangest place I could ever imagine. "Y/n-chan? Are you alright? You've been spacing out for a while now." I was greeted with worried eyes from both my classmates and teacher.

Wait- why am I in my high school uniform? EH?

The worried faces they carried deepened when I didn't answer them and just acted like I don't even know what I'm doing here, which I don't really. "u-um I think I might have a headache...." I trailed off before rubbing my forehead.

Worried gasp echoed inside the classroom while they frantically asked if I need to go to the nurse office. Right, I'm popular back when I'm in high school and middle school. I shook my head a little embarrassed about being adored by other people.

I mean, five years from now I'm a lawyer who's single and filled with eyebags. I'm not like this- cute yet dignified, because since he passed away I tried distracting myself with studying and working to keep my thoughts away from that guy. "can someone please help Y/n-chan to the nurse office?" Hana-sensei asked still worried.

I shook my head before telling them that I can go by myself. Besides, I still dont know if this is a dream or not, all I have for now is that I might be able to change my life. I walked out of the classroom with an excuse letter before entering the empty nurse office. I should probably just sleep. Maybe it's all just a dream after all. Nodding my head absent-mindedly I made my way towards the empty bed before closing my eyes and instantly falling asleep.

......

A slight tap from someone woke me up from my well deserved sleep.
"Y/n-chan? School is over, you should get some rest in your house." I rubbed my dry eyes expecting the shit hole I call my office, but I was greeted by the old woman who's been the school nurse for generations.

So I really did came back in time. "thank you Aya-san, I'm sorry I didn't woke up earlier." she smiled at me before handing me a some sort of supliment. "it's just vitamin c, I think you may have pushed yourself too hard Y/n-chan, please take a lot of rest." I accepted her kind gesture before bowing my head bidding her goodbye.

As I exit the quiet room, I was greeted by several people who's looking at me worriedly.

" Y/n-senpai, are you alright now? "

" please take a lot of rest! "

" right! Don't worry about the notes il gladly take note for you!"

I placed a sweet smile on my young self, before reassuring them. "don't worry, Aya-san said I just need a small rest." they clearly exhaled a relived sigh before scrambling away to go home themselves. I clearly forgot that I'm popular with them all. "finally you're here." my blonde friend called out as he leaned his taller body on the wall, hands stuffed on his pocket, while the other one was holding my bag.

Damn~ I forgot how hot he is when we were younger. Well he's also hot five years from now, but nothing beats this one. "you're just harsh Waka." I grumbled with an offended pout. To be honest, I just want to live my life to the fullest with this amazing opportunity God had given me. "let's just go dumbass." he flicked my forehead just enough for it to sting but not really hurt me.

I smiled at him before grabbing his larger hands into mine. I hummed some random tunes while Waka gave me a confused look. "what's wrong?" I asked swinging our interlocked hands back and forth in between us. He had this face that was a mixture of shock and disbelief, I really can't tell which one is which. "you never holds my hands. Are you sure you're alright?" he asked before taking a hold of my face squeezing them in between his large hands.

Shit.

I started holding his hands because some of the people in collage tried hitting on me. It just became some sort of a habit throughout the years, but what if he'd get suspicious?

I nervously tried to make some sort of excuse but what came out from my mouth was useless babbles. I tried prying my hands off of him but he took a hold of it once again, but his time he stuffed it inside his warm pockets. Glancing back at his seemingly composed self, I raised my brow on what the hell is he not letting my poor hands go.

Clicking his tongue he tried to walk faster before mumbling : "shut up and just waln dumbass. I'm just happy that you're not as emo as you always does. I guess things have worked out huh." once again I raised my brow before realizing that I am in the past. And that means, that the same problem is still in full throttle.

I guess this time travel thing isn't just a gift, maybe it's a punishment in disguise. The problem will only get bigger once I'll get home.