Fading into time

chapter 1

At times like these, when the flashbacks got too strong, I liked to muse about...let's say, if I lived in a world full of winged people, how would I ever be able to fit in? Or, if my aunt and her family didn't exist, then what would I be doing now? Pacing the streets, waiting to jump someone? Most likely. That was what most of the street kids liked to do anyway, not that they had any say in it.

When I was younger, I liked to share these thoughts with my older cousin, the closest thing I had to a sister. She would laugh, and say, "You're the kindest kid I've met in my entire life. You wouldn't jump someone, much less lay a finger on anyone, not even if you needed to." That was probably true too.

I didn't tell her about the winged fantasies though. I didn't tell anyone and I didn't know why. Somehow, it felt like a secret, a private thought that bloomed like a tiny grass flower growing in the cracks of the pavement, or in the recesses of a drain. That thought grew and flourished, and I started sinking into a make-believe world concocted and fuelled by my own bizarre desires.

Desire to learn more about human history? Or desire to have wings?

I didn't know. Nothing was certain anymore.

One thing I was sure of though, were the last seven years of my life.

Whatever I did, they weren't going to come back.

Another of those rainy days that seeped deep into your soul and curled a cold arm around your gut, and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to hold out much longer listening to the professor drone on and on.

The classroom was like an ice box, scratch that, a gargantuan freezer, in which I was a popsicle, slowly freezing.

"Hey, you okay?"

I slowly turned my head, fixing the girl to my left with as unassuming a stare I could muster. It didn't matter that my communication skills had totally busted themselves inside out after the incident. Going down the selective mutism path for several years eventually had adverse effects, namely, being a loner in school for five years. And after that, when I had decided to snap out of that state, the loner vibe remained for a straight two years, not that I asked for anything more or less.

A gentle cough wrenched my gaze back to the brunette, still peering at me with a concerned look. Unfortunately, her warm gaze didn't help in dispelling the chills that shot through me. I contemplated answering no. I had wanted to do that for a long time.

"Y...yeah, I'm good. Peachy. Thanks."

The girl nodded, albeit hesitantly, then turned her attention back to the board.

God, what I wouldn't give for my life to change now.

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His wings dripped, miniscule droplets of water pattering onto the floor. He had flown all the way from Addersville to Whealdstone, and god, he had almost gotten electrocuted in a sudden thunderstorm that had snuck up on him.

Sighing, he poked at the edges of his feathers gingerly, wincing when the slightly singed edges stung. His wings were already a deep dark black, and even though they had been singed, no one could see the difference. He smiled a little at that thought, resting back on his haunches to lean his head against the brick wall. Currently, he was situated right at the very end of a dank alley between two rows of houses. It was already one of the best he had been able to find.

Tentatively, he flapped his wings, trying to dispel some of the heavy moisture that hung onto the air and seeped into his already wet clothes. The slight movement brought a twang to his singed ends, but the repetitive movements dulled the ache.