Love, Pain and Sex (SLOW UPDATES)

IV: CLOSE

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR VERY YOUNG AUDIENCES. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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I found myself in a hotel room, with an unfamiliar girl under me as she tries to get out from being tied to the headboard of the bed.

I was again drowning in my thoughts because of Claire. I was scared. So scared that I let my own demons devour me.

"S-shit! Let me go, please, babe...I want to touch you, please, baby." I stopped licking her core when I heard what she said.

"What did you say?" She let out a moan when I inserted two fingers in her wet center.

"Baby, p-please...." I felt aroused. I didn't know I will feel this way. It feels like I'm falling into an endless pit. It feels like there's no way out of this.

"What do you want me to do?" My left hand cupped her left breast while my mouth was sucking the other. She got big boobs, I'll give her that. She's also loud, which I think is hot.

"Oh my gosh, yes! Right there! Fuck me! Fuck me!" I stopped the movement of my fingers at tumayo. Naglakad ako palapit sa dala niyang bag at nilabas ang dala niyang laruan.

Who brings a strap on everywhere they go? It was this girl I'm having sex with.

"You're very naughty, you should be punished." She bit her lip while she was watching me wear the toy. I was holding it like it was part of my body. Inalis ko ang pagkakatali nito and told her to lay on all fours before I inserted the toy.

"Aahh! Fuck! Yes! Yes! Deeper!" I bit my own lip and pulled her hair as I try to get more deeper and faster. I was panting, while she was a moaning mess.

It was a total turn on. While she was having fun, I was again lost in my own thoughts.

Sobrang hirap kumawala sa tali ng kalungkutan. One day I'm fine, the next day I'm lost.

I mean, I have always been lost. But atleast I have Claire to guide me out of it. Everything's not the same anymore.

She's only at arm's reach pero napakalayo niya pa rin. I want to tell her to save me. I want to hold her and kiss her and dance with her in an empty parking lot or run under the pouring rain.

But I'm fucking scared.

And it's funny how I always run back to the same road, leading to her. It's funny how I still do things that scares me the most.

I have always been drawn to complicated things, complicated people. Maybe because I too is a complicated one.

And I hate that saying, 'you attract what you fear' because it's fucking right.

Takot akong maiwan ng mga importanteng tao sa buhay ko and it's exactly what happened.

I lost my mom and my dad at the same time.

I lost Claire when I needed her the most.

And I lost myself for depending too much on others.

It isn't bad to ask for help to your friends, family or just anyone. What's bad is that you depend too much on them.

An example of it is making Claire my happiness.

I realized that I can't make someone my happiness, they can make me happy but I shouldn't make them my happiness. Dahil oras na mawala sila, mawawalan ka rin ng kasiyahan.

It's the same thing as making someone your world. Ginawa mo siyang mundo pero oras na umalis siya, paano ka? You will be left behind broken and asking yourself kung san nagkamali, kung bakit nagkaganun. Habang siya naman ay patuloy pa rin ang buhay.

I now know what I need to do. I have to understand things more. I have to fight for myself.

But in my case, I need help.

I need someone to save me.

From drowning into deep.

I was staring at the mirror butt naked. There's a scratch on my legs, it doesn't hurt pero namumula ito. Tumalikod ako at napapikit nang mapansing napakadaming kalmot sa likod.

"I'm sorry I can't help it, you were too hard." Sabi ng babae. I rolled my eyes at pumasok ng cr para maligo.

Sierra asked me to fetch her and Claire. I sighed, si Claire nananaman.

Walang ibang laman ang utak ko kundi si Claire. I need to have a life.

"Leaving too soon? Let's have another round before you leave, babe." Tiningnan ko siya diretso sa mata at ngumiti.

"Sorry, hindi ako umuulit." Then I left her.

After kong sunduin sina Claire at Sierra, dumiretso kami sa bahay nila Zara dahil may dinner daw ito with Ms. De Leon and her father.

Ang gaga kasal na pala. Sa papel nga lang. But still I'm happy for her.

Nakita ko kung pano niya hinabol -habol si Ms. De Leon. Witness ako kung gaano ang iniiyak niya sa tuwing di siya pinapansin ng kanyang guro.

And somewhere under the same night sky, humiling ako na sana balang araw, kami pa rin ni Claire ang para sa isa't isa.

"Why are you smiling? Babae nanaman ba nasa isip mo? Ako sinasabi ko sayo, Rosanna, tigil tigilan mo pagiging babaero mo. Sasampalin talaga kita ng hollow blocks nila Zara kapag nahuli ko kayo ng mga babae mo!" Napalunok ako sa sinabi ni Claire. Napalingon sa amin si Ember at Sierra st nagtawanan. Kahit noon pa man talaga ay napaka possessive na ni Claire pagdating sa akin, kaya hindi na bago sa kanila ang tagpong ito.

"Masaya lang ako para kay Zara. Matino na ako." Saad ko dito.

"Matino my ass—"

"Is big and bouncy." Agad na dugtong ko sa sinasabi niya.

"ROSANNA!"

"Sabi ko nga mananahimik nalang ako." Mahina kong saad habang si Claire ay pinandidilatan ako.

"Wag na wag kang magpapahuli Rosanna. I swear kakalbuhin ko ang ulo niya! Pati na ang sayo!" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napatakip sa aking precious vajayjay.

"Gaga wala kang buhok diyan!" Saad naman ni Ember at nagtawanan kami habang si Claire ay kulang nalang sabunutan ako sa sobrang inis.

"Ay oo nga pala." Saad ko bago kami nagtawanan uli.

"Patingin." Nanlaki uli ang mga mata ko sa pangatlong beses dahil sa sinabi ni Claire.

"What?!"

"Patingin kung may buhok ba talaga o wala." Then she gave me her famous smirk.

Holy mother of all cows, what?!

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